Dealing With Anger, Resistance And Pessimism | Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle discusses the decisive shift from identifying with a feeling and simply observing it in your energy field. 

The real change comes from becoming aware of whatever is happening inside you... The anger is no longer you: the anger is anger, and you are the awareness.  You know it, you see it, you feel it, and there it is."

https://www.eckharttollenow.com

It's so great to get practical help on how to deal with anger.  Let me know know what you think below.

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How to Motivate Yourself: 3 Steps Backed By Science | Eric Barker

You make goals… but then you procrastinate.

You write a to-do list… but then you don’t follow through.

And this happens again and again and again. Seriously, what’s the problem?

Why are we so good at thinking of what to do but so terrible at actually doing those things?

The problem is you’re skipping an essential step. Here’s what it is…

The Mistake Every Productivity System Makes

Productivity systems rarely take emotions into account. And feelings are a fundamental and unavoidable part of why humans do what they do.

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We can’t ignore our emotions. Because of the way our brains are structured, when thought and feelings compete, feelings almost always win.

And we can’t fight our feelings. Research shows this just makes them stronger.

"…when experimental subjects are told of an unhappy event, but then instructed to try not to feel sad about it, they end up feeling worse than people who are informed of the event, but given no instructions about how to feel. In another study, when patients who were suffering from panic disorders listened to relaxation tapes, their hearts beat faster than patients who listened to audiobooks with no explicitly ‘relaxing’ content. Bereaved people who make the most effort to avoid feeling grief, research suggests, take the longest to recover from their loss. Our efforts at mental suppression fail in the sexual arena, too: people instructed not to think about sex exhibit greater arousal, as measured by the electrical conductivity of their skin, than those not instructed to suppress such thoughts.

So what does the unavoidable power of feelings mean for motivation?

In their book Switch, Chip and Dan Heath say that emotions are an essential part of executing any plan:

"Focus on emotions. Knowing something isn’t enough to cause change. Make people (or yourself) feel something.

We need to think to plan but we need to feel to act.

So if you’ve got the thinking part out of the way – how do you rile up those emotions and get things done? Here are three steps:

1) Get Positive

When do we procrastinate the most? When we’re in a bad mood.

So procrastination is a mood-management technique, albeit (like eating or taking drugs) a shortsighted one. But we’re most prone to it when we think it will actually help… Well, far and away the most procrastination occurred among the bad-mood students who believed their mood could be changed and who had access to fun distractions.

Meanwhile, research shows happiness increases productivity and makes you more successful.

What does the military teach recruits in order to mentally toughen them up? No, it’s not hand-to-hand combat.

It’s optimism. So how do you get optimistic if you’re not feeling it?

Monitor the progress you’re making and celebrate it. Harvard’s Teresa Amabile‘s research found that nothing is more motivating than progress.

"This pattern is what we call the progress principle: of all the positive events that influence inner work life, the single most powerful is progress in meaningful work; of all the negative events, the single most powerful is the opposite of progress—setbacks in the work. We consider this to be a fundamental management principle: facilitating progress is the most effective way for managers to influence inner work life.

(More on how to get happier here.)

Okay, so negativity isn’t making you procrastinate and holding you back. But what’s going to drive you forward?

2) Get Rewarded

Rewards feel good. Penalties feel bad. And that’s why they both can work well for motivating you.

Research shows that rewards are responsible for three-quarters of why you do things.

Via The 100 Simple Secrets of Successful People:

"Researchers find that perceived self-interest, the rewards one believes are at stake, is the most significant factor in predicting dedication and satisfaction toward work. It accounts for about 75 percent of personal motivation toward accomplishment. – Dickinson 1999

So treat yourself whenever you complete something on your to-do list. (Yes, this is how you train a dog but it will work for you too.)

Having trouble finding a reward awesome enough to get you off your butt? Try a “commitment device” instead:

Give your friend $100. If you get a task done by 5PM, you get your $100 back. If you don’t complete it, you lose the $100.

Your to-do list just got very emotional.

So you’re feeling positive and there are rewards (or penalties) in place. What else do you need? How about nagging, compliments and guilt?

3) Get Peer Pressure

Research shows peer pressure helps kids more than it hurts them.

(And face it, you’re still a big kid, you just have to pretend to be an adult most of the time — and it’s exhausting.)

Surround yourself with people you want to be and it’s far less taxing to do what you should be doing.

Via Charles Duhigg’s excellent book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business:

"When people join groups where change seems possible, the potential for that change to occur becomes more real.

The Longevity Project, which studied over 1000 people from youth to death had this to say:

"The groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become. For people who want improved health, association with other healthy people is usually the strongest and most direct path of change.

And the research on friendship confirms this. From my interview with Carlin Flora, author of Friendfluence:

"Research shows over time, you develop the eating habits, health habits and even career aspirations of those around you. If you’re in a group of people who have really high goals for themselves you’ll take on that same sense of seriousness.

(More on the science of friendship here.)

So we’ve got all three methods going for us. How do we wrap this all together and get started?

Sum Up

Got today’s to-do list? Great. That means the most rational thing to do now isstop being rational. Get those emotions going:

1. Get Positive
2. Get Rewarded
3. Get Peer Pressure

You can do this. In fact, believing you can do this is actually the first step.

What’s one of the main things that stops people from becoming happier? Happiness isn’t part of how they see themselves so it’s harder to change.

Think of yourself as a motivated, productive person. Research shows how people feel about themselves has a huge effect on success.

"For most people studied, the first step toward improving their job performance had nothing to do with the job itself but instead with improving how they felt about themselves. In fact, for eight in ten people, self-image matters more in how they rate their job performance than does their actual job performance. – Gribble 2000

Still unsure if you’ll be able to beat the procrastination demon? Then skip right to #3, peer pressure.

Forward this post to at least two friends and start holding each other accountable.

Now you’ve got something outside of yourself that’s watching and motivating you. And everything is easier — and more fun — with friends.

So what do you think?  Let me know below!

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Tips On Changing The Way You Feel | Tony Robbins

"Most people want to be happy but their habit is to be worried or frustrated or stressed," says motivational speaker Tony Robbins.

But changing that habit isn't as hard as you might think.

“We all want to be able to change the way we feel. Emotion is created by motion. The way you move determines the way you feel. I have this deal with myself called ‘priming.’ It’s ten minutes, I put music on , I do this massive change in my breathing and then I do this 3-step process,” said Robbins.

1. 3-minutes of gratitude—Think about 3 things I’m really greatful for.
2. 3-minute prayer for family and friends.
3. 3-minute process of the top 3 things I want to accomplish.

“My deal is 10 so there is no excuse not to do it,” said Robbins.

Let me know what you think below!

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What Is My True Purpose? | John Holland

As you go about your daily life, do you have moments where you feel disconnected from your true purpose?  Do you sometimes wonder exactly what your purpose in life is all about?

We've all had that nagging sense when you know it’s time to make a change and take a new direction in your life. You may have a vague sense of what your true path might look like but equally, it’s totally okay if you don’t have any idea at all. Just follow your intuition.

As young children, we tend to remain closer to our true nature and are easily drawn to what we feel is intrinsically right and true for us. But as we grow, life circumstances and expectations of well-meaning loved ones and society as a whole steer us to what is considered more practical and acceptable.  As we move into adulthood, it’s not uncommon to have a sense of disconnection. It is then that we begin to question our path more often.

Your life purpose doesn't necessarily have to be your regular job or even something you’re paid to do, even though it can be possible. When someone begins to live their life in a way that’s closer to their true path, they’ll start to sense a deeper connection with others, and as a result they become more intuitively led to make choices that are more in line with why they’re on this earth.

There are ways to begin to reveal your purpose by looking for clues in your life as it is now.

If you’re feeling prompted to explore what your true purpose might be, I encourage you to take some time this week to do some journaling.  Begin by asking yourself a few questions:

1. When you were a child, what did you dream of doing when you grew up? What were you drawn to before you were encouraged to choose a more "practical" route?

2. What do you enjoy doing so much now that you lose all track of time?

3. Think about people who inspire you. Don't simply look at the title of their job position. Look a little deeper. What do they bring to the world?

4. If you could wake up tomorrow morning with the ability to go out and do anything, what would you choose to do? If you don't know exactly what that would be, begin by taking a moment to imagine how you would like to feel as you go about your day.

Write down everything that comes to mind as you ask yourself these questions. And, just as important, include what comes to your heart. Allow yourself to let go of any thoughts of impossibility. When you let yourself visualize your ideal life without boundaries, without the fear of criticism, without the fear of recrimination, without the fear of judgment, you’ll be able to open the door for your soul to show you what is possible and the boundless opportunities ahead of you.

As you go through this process, take note of any common themes that emerge through your journaling. That may be a clue as to where you need to begin. Is there a class or volunteer situation where you can explore those thoughts further? Or perhaps an online community where you can converse with like-minded people?  Every action - no matter how small - will bring some clarity.

As you start to take action and explore a path that feels truer to you, you may start to notice situations that no longer seem to fit in your life and you'll have to make adjustments. Be open to recognize and appreciate clues along the way - even if its an experience that helps you realize those things that are no longer what you thought was your purpose!

You won't find answers overnight but it is SO worth it!  Take on the mindset of an adventurer and an explorer … and be open to the clues that your soul will place in front of you. Discovering your life purpose is more about the journey and less about the final destination. So, all I have to say in closing this Soul Inspirations is …. to enjoy the journey!

Have a SOUL-filled week!

What do you think?  Let me know below.

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Who Controls Your Mind? | Remez Sasson

Few people are aware of the thoughts that pass through their minds, since most thinking is done in an automatic manner.

The mind is sometimes, like small child, who accepts, and takes for granted, whatever it sees or hears, without judgment and without considering the consequences. If you let your mind behave in this manner, giving it complete freedom to jump from one thought to another, you lose your freedom.

We are constantly flooded with thoughts, ideas and information coming through the five senses, other people, the newspapers and TV. These thoughts, ideas and information penetrate the mind, whether we are aware of this process or not.

This flow of thoughts affects our behavior and reactions. It influences the way we think, our preferences, likes and dislikes. Usually, we automatically accept these thoughts, letting them shape our life. This actually means that we lose our mental freedom.

Most people think and believe that their thoughts originate from them, but have you ever stopped and considered whether your thoughts, desires, likes and dislikes are really yours? Did it occur to you that maybe they came from the outside, from other people, and you have unconsciously accepted them as your own?

If you do not filter the thoughts that enter your mind you stop to be a free person, and allow every thought to control your life.

You may object, and say that the thoughts that pass through your mind are yours, but are they? Have you deliberately and attentively created every thought that entered your mind?

• Why let outside influences control your mind and life?
• Why let other people's thoughts control your life and mind?
• Do you want to make your mind free or do you prefer to enslave it to other people's opinions and thoughts?

If you leave your mind open to every thought that passes by, you put your life in other people's hands, and without realizing it, you accept their thoughts and act in accordance with them.

Every person is differently affected by external thoughts. Certain thoughts and ideas we ignore, and others spur us to immediate action. Usually, thoughts concerning subjects we love have more power on us than other thoughts, but even thoughts and ideas that we don't care about, if we are frequently exposed to them, eventually sink into the subconscious mind and affect us.

Everyone has desires, ambitions and dreams that he or she may foster from childhood. However, it is possible that they are the thoughts of parents, teachers and friends, which have lodged into their mind, and were carried throughout their lives.

Are these thoughts necessary? Do we need all this excessive baggage?

In order to reduce the power of outside influences and thoughts on your life, you need to be aware of the thoughts and desires that enter your mind, and ask yourself, whether you really like them, and if you are willing to accept them into your life.

You do not have to accept each and every thought that enters your mind.

Find out whether it is your own thought, or someone else's thought. Also, decide whether the thought is useful for you, and if it is for your own good to follow. This will lead to more control over your thinking process.

It might not be so easy do at first, because your mind will probably revolt against this control. However, if you want to be the master of your mind and life, you should not let other people's thoughts rule your life, unless you consciously choose so.

Do you want to master your thoughts? Read How to Focus Your Mind

So what do you think?  Please let me know below!

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Happiness is all in your mind | Gen Kelsang Nyema at TEDxGreenville 2014

Simple, profound truths are the realm of this Buddhist nun. Her message? The gift of happiness truly lies within our own hearts and minds. Gen Kelsang Nyema, exuding a peacefulness that immediately connects with the audience, starts by asking three questions: Are you having a good day? Why? Tomorrow, would you rather have a good day or a bad day? 

She teaches that we cannot put our happiness at the whim of other people and of circumstances. If we want to be happy, we have to "stop outsourcing our happiness to other people" and cultivate a source of inner peace. What happens next is quite astounding.

 The whole crowd of 350+ people proceeds to meditate with Nyema. There's a little squirming at first, but as she leads the audience through a calm citation of how to rest the mind, audience members feel a collective relaxation flow into the room and through the people. 

Fascinating! Refreshing.

So what do you think? 

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Dare to Be An Original | Z. Hereford

When you dare to be an original you are in essence daring to be "yourself" and everything that encompasses who you really are. To many of us, that can be a scary and daunting proposition.

And why can that be scary, you ask?

It can be scary because it means putting ourselves on the line. It means we could be subjecting ourselves to scrutiny, judgment and possible ridicule. It means exposure and vulnerability.

Certainly there is more comfort to be found in conformity, lying low, and blending in with the crowd. 

There is also boredom, complacency, and the prospect of never living to your potential.
It takes courage and self-confidence to dare to be an original - to reveal your uniqueness and to show that you're one of a kind. However, as with any frightening endeavor, the rewards of overcoming obstacles and prevailing far out weigh the consequences of not venturing forth.

As the late Steve Jobs noted in his speech at a Stanford University graduation commencement:

"Your time is limited; so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

It's true. Life is too short to live it trying to be anything other than your true, original self. Be who you are, and be it the best way you know how. Celebrate your individuality and uniqueness. Dare to be an original!

Tips on how to be an original or your true self:

• Know who you are. Before you can be yourself, you must know who that is, and then be true to that self. Centuries ago Socrates wisely observed that self-knowledge is the pillar of all virtue. Without it nothing else is genuine.


• Trust your intuition and instincts. Part of knowing who you are is trusting your intuition and instincts. We all have an inner gauge that guides us along our most fulfilling path. Look deep within to find the answers to your life. No one is better at knowing what you need and want from life than you. Of course, it is prudent to listen to the advice of family, friends and professionals, but you are the ultimate authority on you. You are unique and original and no one but you can make your decisions for you. To go against that intuition is to go against your fundamental nature and source of satisfaction.


• Express yourself by cultivating your own style, tastes and personality. Many people try to be like those who seem to be popular. Rather than work on developing themselves they try to copy others and lose themselves in the process. Much time is wasted in such pursuits and the results are disillusionment and feelings of failure. When you work on cultivating your own style, tastes and personality, not only are you genuine and authentic, you're more interesting and attractive to others. Let go of fear and embrace your uniqueness. Make your life an expression of who you are. As Steve Jobs said, have the courage to follow your heart. If you desire to be an artist, don't settle for being an accountant because your parents want you to be, or because you can make more money at it. In the end you will lose out because the money won't matter if you're unhappy, unmotivated or depressed. 

• Believe in yourself and don't worry about what others think. When you choose the right path for yourself do not allow the opinions of others to distract you. People are good at offering well-intentioned, unsolicited opinions, however only you know what's best for you. Don't let a lack of self-confidence or self-doubt prevent you from pursuing what you know is best for you. Let go of your personal insecurities. If you strive to be someone you're not, you will never be happy. Be yourself. Be proud of who you are. People who have a more positive view of themselves live better, healthier lives.

When you dare to be an original, you dare to be courageous, strong, and vibrant and are willing to realize the full potential of your unique skills and talents.

The Benefits of Being an Original:

• You are true to yourself, therefore derive greater personal satisfaction and fulfillment.

• You are more noticed, interesting, and attractive to others.

• You are willing to take risks, think originally and be creative, therefore are open to greater career opportunities and advancement.

• Due to a willingness to let go of convention, you live life to the fullest and on your terms.

• Whether in your career, the arts, or in your community, you offer a fresh, new, diverse perspective.

• You are usually a trailblazer, set new trends and discover new ways of doing things.

So what do you think?  Anything to add?  Any advice?  Let us know below!

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