Your partner's flaws are your own | Byron Katie

Byron Katie explains a post: "Your partner's flaws are your own, because you're projecting them."

"If my partner has a flaw, who is believing that?" Byron Katie says. "Where's the flaw? If I'm the one seeing it, I am its creator." 

Katie offers a personal example of how we project our flaws onto others. With the eyes of love, she can see her ex-husband standing before her, perfect, acting in a way that other people think is unacceptable. Through self-inquiry, we too can see our partners clearly, without the filter of our judgments.

"A flawed mind attacks.  It defends....Defence is the first act of war."

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What Is Music And Why Is It So Important To Us? Eckhart Tolle

Many activities can serve as portals to presence, but we must be careful not to become dependent upon them.

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6 Ways To Focus Your Attention And Be Happier | Sarah McLean

Become Fully Engaged And Improve The Quality Of Your Life

The questions that follow are designed to illuminate your ability to manage your attention as you notice what you pay attention to, how you pay attention, and the quality of your attention. 

I include this questionnaire in my book, The Power Of Attention.

Read through each question and either use them as journal prompts or simply reflect upon them as you go about your day. This inquiry will reveal to you the way you use the currency of your attention.

Ask Yourself These Questions

1. Do I give enough attention to the people, activities, and things that are important to me?

2. How does someone or something respond when I give him/her/it my undivided attention? How do they respond when I am distracted in his/her/its presence? (You might be too distracted to notice!)

3. Do I pay attention to and listen to my inner knowing?

4. How do I feel physically - and where in my body do I feel it - when I judge, feel spiteful, or have ill will toward a particular person or situation?

5. How do I feel - and where in my body do I feel it - when I offer loving and supportive attention to a family member, a friend, or a stranger?

6. How do I feel - and where in my body do I feel it - when someone ignores me, disregards my requests, or is generally not present when they're with me?

7. How do I feel - and where in my body do I feel it - when I am truly being paid attention to?

8. Do I often multitask or am I able to sustain an uninterrupted continuum of attention?

9. What external stimulus most distracts me? (My phone? My relationship? The people or objects in my environment?)

10. What internal stimulus distracts me? (My obsessions? My daydreams? My grudges? My limiting beliefs? Body sensations?)

11. How long can I engage and be present with someone without looking at an electronic device?

12. Do I feel a sense of rushing even when there are no deadlines and nowhere to go?
With this inquiry, you'll be more conscious of how you want to spend this valuable currency of attention.

You might get frustrated as you see that you live in a world full of distractions and potential addictions. And, yes, the contemporary culture seems to encourage the half-hearted way some of us attend to the world around us.

By noticing what distracts and detours you, you can begin to create some boundaries around them to reclaim your focus.

Here are some tips to reclaim your attention:

1. Set Your Priorities

Make a commitment to give your attention to what matters to you, whether it's your body, your relationships, your creativity, your work, your family, your pets, your plants, your spiritual life, or your environment. The ability to fully engage in a relationship with others and attend to yourself is expressed in your ability to listen, to love, to connect, and to respond in compassionate and meaningful ways.

2. Practice Fully Engaging In A Conversation

Mindfully listen and stay connected as the person in front of you speaks. Don't interrupt, or assume. Simply be present. When you respond, speak mindfully and with your full attention.

3. Get To Know Your Body

Listen with the same loving attention you offer to others. Ask yourself, "How do I feel when I focus on this?" the "this" in this case can be anything: a goal, a memory, a co-worker, your family, your pet,a  project, social media, a problem at work, nature, a television show, a news article, or any activity you are engaged in. Choose to focus more on that which nourishes you.

4. Go Analog

Stop sleeping with your phone. Instead, use a clock or watch. Don't start the day in emergency mode. Create a relaxing morning routine, one where you can be present and calm. This will establish a restful response as you embark on your day.

5. Unplug

Whether a few hours a day, or one day a week, unplug from your devices and social media. Create boundaries around what distracts you. Make time to be completely available to your three dimensional reality. Uninterrupted time is when creativity and inspiration can arise and your real-life relationships can flourish.

6. Get A Dose Of Nature

Research shows that a 20-minute walk can improve attentional issues. The natural world is a conduit for connecting to reality. It brings you to your senses and can charm your attention. This gives your brain a break from endless to-do lists and habitual thinking patterns that keep you distracted.

You can reclaim and increase the power of your attention and pay full attention, on purpose, to whom and what you choose.

Harnessing your ability to pay attention will restore the relational space between you and who and what you focus on.

Your attention is powerful, and you can be in charge of it when you set your mind to it.

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What Is My True Purpose? | John Holland

As you go about your daily life, do you have moments where you feel disconnected from your true purpose?  Do you sometimes wonder exactly what your purpose in life is all about?

We've all had that nagging sense when you know it’s time to make a change and take a new direction in your life. You may have a vague sense of what your true path might look like but equally, it’s totally okay if you don’t have any idea at all. Just follow your intuition.

As young children, we tend to remain closer to our true nature and are easily drawn to what we feel is intrinsically right and true for us. But as we grow, life circumstances and expectations of well-meaning loved ones and society as a whole steer us to what is considered more practical and acceptable.  As we move into adulthood, it’s not uncommon to have a sense of disconnection. It is then that we begin to question our path more often.

Your life purpose doesn't necessarily have to be your regular job or even something you’re paid to do, even though it can be possible. When someone begins to live their life in a way that’s closer to their true path, they’ll start to sense a deeper connection with others, and as a result they become more intuitively led to make choices that are more in line with why they’re on this earth.

There are ways to begin to reveal your purpose by looking for clues in your life as it is now.

If you’re feeling prompted to explore what your true purpose might be, I encourage you to take some time this week to do some journaling.  Begin by asking yourself a few questions:

1. When you were a child, what did you dream of doing when you grew up? What were you drawn to before you were encouraged to choose a more "practical" route?

2. What do you enjoy doing so much now that you lose all track of time?

3. Think about people who inspire you. Don't simply look at the title of their job position. Look a little deeper. What do they bring to the world?

4. If you could wake up tomorrow morning with the ability to go out and do anything, what would you choose to do? If you don't know exactly what that would be, begin by taking a moment to imagine how you would like to feel as you go about your day.

Write down everything that comes to mind as you ask yourself these questions. And, just as important, include what comes to your heart. Allow yourself to let go of any thoughts of impossibility. When you let yourself visualize your ideal life without boundaries, without the fear of criticism, without the fear of recrimination, without the fear of judgment, you’ll be able to open the door for your soul to show you what is possible and the boundless opportunities ahead of you.

As you go through this process, take note of any common themes that emerge through your journaling. That may be a clue as to where you need to begin. Is there a class or volunteer situation where you can explore those thoughts further? Or perhaps an online community where you can converse with like-minded people?  Every action - no matter how small - will bring some clarity.

As you start to take action and explore a path that feels truer to you, you may start to notice situations that no longer seem to fit in your life and you'll have to make adjustments. Be open to recognize and appreciate clues along the way - even if its an experience that helps you realize those things that are no longer what you thought was your purpose!

You won't find answers overnight but it is SO worth it!  Take on the mindset of an adventurer and an explorer … and be open to the clues that your soul will place in front of you. Discovering your life purpose is more about the journey and less about the final destination. So, all I have to say in closing this Soul Inspirations is …. to enjoy the journey!

Have a SOUL-filled week!

What do you think?  Let me know below.

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