Your partner's flaws are your own | Byron Katie

Byron Katie explains a post: "Your partner's flaws are your own, because you're projecting them."

"If my partner has a flaw, who is believing that?" Byron Katie says. "Where's the flaw? If I'm the one seeing it, I am its creator." 

Katie offers a personal example of how we project our flaws onto others. With the eyes of love, she can see her ex-husband standing before her, perfect, acting in a way that other people think is unacceptable. Through self-inquiry, we too can see our partners clearly, without the filter of our judgments.

"A flawed mind attacks.  It defends....Defence is the first act of war."

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Danny Boy | Michael Londra

To see more beautiful scenery of Ireland visit http://www.lookaroundireland.com 

Or listen to the tenor voice of Michael Londra http://www.michaellondra.com

Happy St Patrick's Day everyone!

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Relationships and Love | Byron Katie

Byron Katie talks to Joginder Bola about relationships and love using The Work to question and turn around our thinking.
Byron Katie is the founder of The Work. Katie (as everyone calls her) not only shows us that all the problems in the world originate in our thinking but gives us the tool to open our minds and set ourselves free.
The Work is based on FOUR QUESTIONS which can be done on your own or with another person, ending with a process called a "Turnaround": The four questions are:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
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As I began to love myself | Charlie Chaplin

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!

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Motivation is Like Love: Coping When Your Passion Fades | Ali Hale

We’ve all experienced it: that surge of powerful motivation at the start of a project.

• It’s January 1st, and you’ve started your new fitness regime.
• You’ve just started a novel, and you’re pounding out a thousand words a day.
• The launch of your new blog was a week ago, and you’re telling everyone you know about it.

Yet somehow, after a few weeks, that motivation high has gone. One in five gym members go to the gym once a month or less, and several consumer surveys indicate that 80% of new gym members drop out within 8 weeks. Among bloggers, Perseus News reported that of the 4.12 million blogs they surveyed, 66% had not been updated in two months, and 1.09 million were abandoned after only their first post!  Their initial motivation was there, but it didn’t last.

The same happens to you, when you hit a slump, a dip, a low point: the project you were previously so excited about feels like a burden. But if you push through that slump, you’ll find a steady, lasting drive that can carry you onwards until you achieve the goal you’ve set.

From the time we embark on a new project until we are deeply entrenched in following through with it long term, we go through a few different changes and emotional highs and lows: fluctuations that aren’t so different than what we experience elsewhere in our lives.

The “Madly In Love” Phase Of Motivation

“When I start with a new exercise program, or any new goal really, I am rarin’ to go. I am full of excitement, and my enthusiasm knows no boundaries.”
– Leo Babauta, The Ultimate Guide to Motivation – How to Achieve Any Goal

Let me pause here, and ask you to think about falling in love. When you’re in love, you:

• Forget to eat or sleep because you’re thinking about your loved one.
• Spend every moment you can in their company.
• Tell all your friends how wonderful they are – or alternatively, you keep it to yourself because you’re afraid of spoiling your love by sharing it with the world.
• Walk around with a goofy smile on your face whenever you think about them.

Doesn’t that sound rather similar to what happens with a new project? When you come up with that wonderful idea for a new business venture or goal, you:

• Forget to eat or sleep because you’re thinking about your project.
• Spend every moment you can coming up with schemes and plans, and working on your project.
• Tell all all your friends about your amazing new venture – or alternatively, you keep it to yourself because you’re afraid that talking about your ideas will somehow spoil them.
• Walk around with a goofy smile on your face whenever you’re thinking about how cool your project is.

Love and motivation don’t remain at that high peak for long, but this initial surge of enthusiasm is a great time to enjoy throwing yourself wholeheartedly into a project. While you’re in this stage:

• Draw or write a full, rich description of your ultimate goal – what are you ultimately hoping to achieve? (Writing down your goals leads to success.)
• Write a letter to yourself in a month’s time. In the letter, put words of encouragement, and record how excited and keen you’re feeling at the moment. Seal the letter in an envelope, mark it with your name and the date, and put it somewhere safe. Sadly, you’ll be needing it soon…

The “Panic Dip” Phase Of Motivation

“There have been plenty of high peaks in our marriage when loving each other was natural and easy. There have also been some deep valleys when we thought we just couldn’t get it together.”
–  Alex Blackwell, 23 Heartfelt Reasons I Will Always Be Faithful To My Wife

No-one stays passionately, madly in love for the entire duration of a relationship. Maybe it lasts for a few weeks or months, but then reality sets in:

• Your partner has annoying habits.
• You have different interests, and enjoy some alone time.
• The relationship means changes and extra demands that you didn’t expect.

If it’s the first time you’ve fallen in love, you might panic. You might decide that this girl or guy just isn’t “the one.” But as anyone who’s been in love, and stayed in love, can tell you – it’s normal for that incandescent fire to turn into a more bearable, steady flame.

Similarly, the burst of motivation when you first start a project doesn’t last for long, either. Maybe it blazes like that first fire of love to begin, but you may realize that:

• Aspects of your venture are irritating, annoying or tedious.
• You want to carry on with other hobbies, and sometimes you just want to kick back and relax.
• The project has caused changes and extra demands on your life.

Like love, motivation has natural ups and downs – and it requires hard work. There are times when feeling enthusiastic about your project is “natural and easy”, and times when you want to give up.

So, when that initial surge of motivation vanishes, don’t abandon your project. Accept the peaks and troughs, and start looking for that quiet, steady flame of motivation. Some things which have helped me are:

• Looking back on diary entries from the very early days of the project, when I was filled with enthusiasm and boundless optimism.
• Writing down a list of things that motivate me to carry on with the project.
• Talking to others who are working towards similar goals, and asking for their encouragement and support.

The “Long-Term Commitment” Phase Of Motivation

“What is the best way to motivate yourself for your daily work? Obviously, enjoying your work and having a clear vision are very important, but I don’t believe that they are the most important things for keeping going during the daily grint. On the contrary, I believe that what gives us the most energy is the feeling of being totally on top of our work.”
–Do It Tomorrow by Mark Forster, emphasis mine.

Committing Internally

When you’re in a relationship, part of your responsibility is to help yourself to stay in love with the other person. That doesn’t mean being wildly romantic, pretending that your every thought revolves around them, or refusing to let yourself ever express any reservations about an aspect of their personality or behaviour. But it does mean:

• Giving them not just your time but your serious attention.
• Thinking about the future of your relationship, not just the day-to-day.
• Confronting and working through problems, rather than ignoring them.

It’s the same with your any other serious project. You need to help yourself to stay motivated about it. This means doing the same things as you would in a relationship: devoting time and attention to your project, and being willing to accept that there will be some tricky patches along the way.

Committing Externally

When a couple decides to commit themselves for life, they often get married. This is a commitment to one another, made in front of friends and family. When difficulties arise, that commitment, both public and personal, can provide extra motivation to work through them.

“None of us likes to look bad in front of others. We will go the extra mile to do something we’ve said publicly. … you can do it with friends and family and co-workers, and you can do it on your blog if you have one. And hold yourself accountable — don’t just commit once, but commit to giving progress updates to everyone every week or so.”
– Leo Babauta, The Ultimate Guide to Motivation – How to Achieve Any Goal

Making It Through the Dip

“There are two great times of happiness – when you are haunted by a dream, and when you realize it. Between the two there’s a lot of uncertainty, a strong urge to let it all drop. But you have to follow your dreams to the end.
There are abandoned bicycles in every garage because their owners’ backsides got too sore the first time they rode them. They didn’t understand that pain is a necessary part of learning. I almost gave up a thousand times before reaching those moments of happiness when I forgot that I was cold. 

You can accomplish this through painting or music, provided that you concede that, before you can play a Bach sonata, you must first learn to play scales. It is only through perseverance that each of us can find himself. It is up to each of us to find his own Pole.”
– Dr. Jean-Louise Etienne, the man who walked alone to the North Pole

This is a hugely powerful quote, reminding us that there will be difficult, tedious, even painful moments on the route to any goal. As with love being strengthened by marriage, you will find that your motivation is strengthened by making a firm commitment. This means:

• Writing down a promise to yourself. For example, “I will commit to working on this project for at least six months, regardless of whether I am seeing any results.”
• Ideally, making your commitment public. Post it on your blog or a web forum. Tell all your friends that you’re going to lose 10lbs before Christmas. Let everyone know that you’re writing a novel.
• Focus on what you’ve achieved and learnt so far, and celebrate how far you’ve come. Look back at all the ground you’ve covered, before you turn your eyes towards what lies ahead: and look foward to the next stage of your journey.

Are You Dipping or Soaring?

[reddit-me] If you’ve been worried because your initial surge of motivation has worn off – stop being concerned, and realize that going through this dip is a normal phase in any long term endeavor. Focus on finding that steady flame of lasting enthusiasm for your projects.

If you want to make, or remake, a public commitment, please feel free to add it in the comments. I’d also love to hear from anyone who’s ridden out motivational dips and dry spells to finally achieve their dreams – whether in a business, personal or social venture.

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Motivation: 21 Words That Can Change Your Life and 3 That Will Surprise You | Allyson Lewis

Motivation is life changing.  Your life is changing every day.  It is either changing for the better or it is slowly changing for the worse.  Motivation is derived from the verb “motivate,” which means “move.”  Motivation is the burning desire that compels you to take action.  It is a so deeply intertwined with what you believe to be true and right in life that it moves you from a simple desire to a moment of decision.  Have you ever watched a working dog?  Their only motivation is you.

What is your motivation?

In 2006 I wrote, “Change happens in an instant.  It happens the moment you decide to change.”
You are going to be different tomorrow.  Stop feeling stuck.  When you decide to be different you will find motivation seeping into your thoughts and into your actions.  Motivation causes you to take action, it becomes an inner drive fuelling you forward.

We all believe something.  When was the last time you asked yourself, “What do I believe?”  What role does faith play in my life?  Why was I placed on this earth?  What is my purpose in life?”

Remembering that motivation is a verb meaning to “move” or take “action”.  Family, friends, co-workers and the people all around us are key motivators for how we act.  Surround yourself with great people and you will surround yourself with great motivation.

Goals.

It should be no surprise that goals motivate us and inspire us.  The most powerful goals are self-directed goals.  Self-directed internal goals.  They include understanding your priorities and purpose in life, knowing what you believe to be most important and using those goals as a daily guide for how you will choose to live your life.

New.

Choosing to learn something new every day will give you a reason to grown and change.  This could be something as simple as driving to work via a different route or signing up for guitar lessons.

Challenge.

Challenges are frequently seen as some sort of contest like the final four during March Madness.  Challenges draw out the best in us.  A simple challenge might be to decide to go to bed fifteen minutes earlier for thirty days to see if it improved your daily productivity.

Truth.

Truth does not waver.  Something either is true or it is not.  Truth provides a firm foundation to stand on.  Truth strengthens, encourages, and will guide you correctly.

Determination.

You’ve met them.  Those rare individuals who are determined to continue regardless of how difficult the circumstances.  Determination literally means you are willing to put a “stake” in the ground.  It is not a casual choice.  There are very few things humans will determine to mark as permanent placeholders for their beliefs.

Laughter.

Laughter heals the soul.  Why is it that children laugh hundreds of times a day and adults laugh only _____ times.   Laughter occurs when something unexpected happens that causes your brain to emit a signal to your lungs to expel short burst of air causing you to make audible noises that are a signal of joy all across the world.

Perseverance.

Perseverance reminds me of a road or a bridge – a specific course or path we all walk down.  When you feel hopeless and lost, that is when perseverance counts the most.  Perseverance is consciously choosing to stay on your path even in the midst of incredible difficulties.

Freedom.

Having a sense of control or autonomy over your time and your actions is a powerful motivator.  Freedom liberates you to dream and imagine and create.  Freedom of stress is one of the most sought after psychological goals.

Tenacity.

Tenacity is a word originating with the meaning of adhesiveness.  There are frequent times you will find you need to “stick together”.  Tenacity never gives up.  It never lets go. Willpower lives in the core of your being.  Willpower moves you, motivates you and causes you to take action for good or for bad. This inner drive is the control center for many of the decisions you will choose to make moment to moment.

Faithful.

Faithfulness is a rare quality in today’s world.  It is choosing to remain reliable, trusted and constant.  It carries a sense of attachment and devotion to people, causes, organizations and beliefs.  Faithfulness is a foundational motivator.

Endurance.

This word literally means to have the ability to endure suffering over long periods of time.  Grit is stone broken down, but it is still stone.  It speaks to the indomitable toughness it can take to push through life’s most difficult trials.  Endurance when accepted can build character, patience, wisdom, empathy and compassion.

Novel.

Novelty is also one of the most unexpected motivators.  When you experience something for the very first time or you see something you have never seen before you may find yourself swept away with emotion.  The birth of a child.  An unexpected gift.  A surprise ending to a difficult moment in life.

Tragedy.

Life is full of heartache and indescribable pain.  War, illness, death, divorce, financial problems, and injustice.  Tragedy regardless of the pain is full of opportunities to learn and grow and find renewal and hope.  Tragedy shows you are never alone.

Learning.

Any gap in understanding will motivate you to want to fill that knowledge gap.  If you want to know more about leadership – read books by great leaders.  To learn how to train a dog – hire a dog trainer and take lessons.  The incremental acquirement of new knowledge becomes a self-motivating driver.

Anticipation.

The act of looking forward to something important happening in your life.   When you are just given a glimpse of a future success or opportunity the anticipation releases an incredibly powerful chemical called dopamine into your system.  Everything you have ever wanted in your life you were first motivated to strive for attaining it because you anticipated the feeling of importance it would mean to you.  Dopamine is the brain chemical of anticipation.

Courage.

Lt. Col. (retired) Dave Grossman shared a single quote of where the bravery of being an Army Ranger came from for him.  He said, “Courage is just being willing to take one more step.” Sometimes the only motivation you need is to take just one more step.

Hope.

When used as a noun hope is only a feeling, but when used as a verb hope becomes the focal point of your motivation.  Sometimes in life all you have is hope.  And, in those moments hope will be more than enough.

Time.

Time is not merely a framework for how the minutes, hours and days pass by – each day is like having a blank canvas sitting in an art room filled with unlimited options.  Improving your motivation through improving your time management will require you to reduce the number of choices you have to let into your life.  You will find simplicity and peace in narrowing your focus and increasing your energy and attention only on accomplishing the tasks that bring motivation and meaning in your life.

Love.

The foundation of life is love..  There is no way to create a life of meaning without love.  There is no motivation, no reason to move or change or engage in life without love.  The foundation of motivation is love.

And, Three That Might Surprise You

Brain.

The prefrontal cortex is the thinking part of the brain. This is where life happens! In this space just behind your forehead, ideas are created, thoughts are pondered, imagination grows (or dies), judgments are made. This part of the brain is highly specialized in humans; this is where you define meaning, plan for the future, and imagine. Your values, priorities, purpose, goals, drive, learning, love, and hope all live here.  Motivation is a decision.

Attention.

You experience the depths of motivation when your attention focused so intently on completing a task or a project or a hobby that challenges you to such a point that time stands still.  When you are in that moment – swept away from stress and worry – concentrating with full attention – you don’t need motivation – you are experiencing motivitation.  At that moment you are motivated.  You are in the process of taking action.  And, in those amazing moments you realize the life-changing power of motivation.  You understand the difference between existing and thriving.  And, in that moment – life oozes out of you.  And, motivation is contagious.

Time Management.

Your personal time management skills affect the levels of motivation you experience in life.  Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter is a sports psychology expert and coach to Olympic athletes, as well as being a world-class athlete in her own right. She says, “It starts with a dream; motivation comes from within.  It has to be an inner desire, an inner fire, a willingness to achieve something you are passionate about.”
Far too many people only focus on the hard parts of life that motivation can guide us through.  By improving your time management you can create daily blocks of time to focus your time and attention on the part’s of life that motivate you.

Action Steps:

Time Management Tips to Live with More Motivation

Assess your current schedule

Determine which activities motivate you and which activities drain you of energy

Take time to think about what you really want out of life (preferably away from work or home)

Clarify what you want in life by writing down personal or professional goals

Create a plan of action – prioritize or sequence the individual action steps you need to take to accomplish your new goals

Use a pen and paper to schedule when you will take these actions.

Then take action.

Remember “motivation” comes from the word “motive” which means to “move” – or to take “action.”

“The secret to motivation is purposeful action.”
~ Allyson Lewis

Plenty food for thought in this great article!  So let me know what you think below!

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Creating Self Worth | Abraham Hicks

Great audio recording from Abraham on how to interpret fear and create self worth.  
Please let me know what you think below.  
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How to love and be loved | Billy Ward | TEDxFoggyBottom

Through a story of one of his students, Billy shows the importance of loving others and of being loved. 

Let me know what you think below.
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The rules for success | Steve Jobs

You need a lot of passion for what you're doing because its so hard. Without passion, any rational person would give up.  So if you're not having fun doing it, if you don't absolutely love it, you're going to give up. And that's what happens to most people, actually.

If you look at the ones that ended up being successful in the eyes of society, often times its the ones who love what they do, so they could persevere when it got really tough. And the ones that didn't love it, quit. Because they're sane, right?  Who would put up with this stuff if you don't love it?

So its a lot of hard work and its a lot of worrying constantly. If you don't love it, you're going to fail.

Pretty amazing, huh? Let me know what you think below!

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Compassion in action! | NTD Television 10

This will warm the cockles of your heart: well, it certainly did mine!
Enjoy, and let me know what you think below!
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The Universe Loves Grateful People | Louise L. Hay

"Every thought we think and every word we speak is creating our future." 
Interview from never-before-seen footage from the making of the film on Louise L. Hay
"You Can Heal Your Life" (2009).
"What am I thinking?"  "Only good lies before me."
"The Universe loves gratitude."
"... little miracles start to happen."
Isn't she brilliant?  Let me know what you think below.
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Stop Waiting for Life to Happen | Peter Sage | TED Talks

Life is precious.  Life is a mirror:  the outer world reflects the inner world.  
The only thing that matters is what we do with what happens to us.  We can live from our hearts, not our heads. 

Let me know what you think below!

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The most inspiring video you will ever watch! | nuki255

This is a truly inspirational video of an ordinary man who achieved extraordinary results when he connected his long-lost goals to his love for his family.  

nuki255's comment when posted in 2010: 

This is a repost of a video that a friend of mine made. He posted it to a car website to inspire the members there. I wanted others to see the video so that they too could be inspired. For all those wondering, Julia is still alive and Roger continues to run for her sake. So this isnt a video about sadness, it one of the human spirit and what it can accomplish.* 



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Unbroken - Motivational Video

Unbroken is a 6 minute inspirational video which has been watched by 22 million people and counting. It is designed to remind us of what is important in life.

Source: https://youtu.be/26U_seo0a1g

Be inspired, and let me know below what inspired you the most.