Making Personal Development Fun | Vlad Dolezal

Think back to when you were a child, building a lego house. (Or using a similar building set.)

You would set off to build a house… then halfway through decide to make it a horse ranch instead… then get distracted by another idea and end up with a space ship with a pack of horses on one wing and a swimming pool on the other.

That’s how personal development feels when you approach it in a fun way. You have a certain intention, but then you get distracted by something interesting, experiment with a few different tidbits, and end up with something completely different than you intended. Yet the result is even more awesome than your original plan, and you had great fun along the way!

Still, some people insist on approaching personal development like building a lego house according to set-in-stone instructions. They stress about getting every brick in the right place, then get annoyed when they don’t progress fast enough, then start procrastinating because the process is boring and doesn’t challenge their mind and then they end up dropping the project and complaining that building lego houses doesn’t work.

Personal development can be just as fun as building a lego house, if you approach it the right way.

If you think personal development should be hard, it will be

There’s a funny thing called selective perception. Put simply, you only notice things you are looking for.

So if you’re looking for hard complicated ways to improve yourself, when you find an easy solution, you drop it because “that can’t possibly be right”. Then you come up with the most weird and convoluted ways to make your self-improvement difficult, because that’s what you’re looking for.

Here’s the thing. Personal development done right is easy. It’s effortless. It’s fun!

Building your own character is just like building a character in a computer game, or like building a lego spaceship:

• you tack on a bunch of random stuff because you feel like it
• you keep experimenting and see what you like the best
• the process is just as much fun as the result
• there isn’t a final outcome – it’s an endless fun process, where you keep changing and tweaking things because you feel like it. The fun of a building set comes from building things, and the same is true with personal development.

I have tried all sorts of habit changes myself, like waking up early, meditating, being vegetarian, keeping a daily to-do list, or consciously changing my body language (that one was especially fun).

Some of them have stuck and some haven’t. But every single one of them was fun to try! (Yes, even waking up early).

How to Make Personal Development Fun

Here are a few ways to make personal development fun:

1. Forget about the outcome
2. Think of it as a fun experiment to see what happens
3. When you read/hear about cool ideas, TRY THEM
4. Do it with a friend (either offline or online)
5. Tell other people about your experiments (that’s one reason starting a blog is great)

Aaaand… yeah. If I ended right here, you would most likely go off nodding, thinking you learned something interesting but leaving your behavior unchanged.

I’m not a big fan of list posts for exactly that reason. That’s why I let this list occupy such a small part of this post.

Instead, I will give you one thorough example, to help you drive the concept deep into your subconscious. This will stimulate your subconscious mind’s creativity and get it thinking of how to make other personal development ideas fun.

An example of making personal development fun

You can approach any part of personal development as a game. I’m going to take open-mindedness as an example here:

…

Think of lying on a grass meadow on a warm summer day, with a friend, watching the clouds above.

“That one looks like a car,” you say pointing at a cloud.

“It looks like a dog to me…” your friend replies.

What is your reply? Do you jump up angrily and shout “NO, it’s definitely a car! You’re completely wrong!” and storm off?

Or do you say “Wait… hang on… oh yea! I can see what you mean. I’d actually say it’s a bit more of a tiger, but I can definitely see where you’re coming from with the dog.”

And then you can have more fun guessing all the other interpretations for that cloud. Maybe it can also be a motorcycle, or a pretzel…

And considering other people’s point of view is just like that. For a moment, you suspend all judgment, and see the world as they see it. And then you think of all other interpretations of the same situation, just to see what fun things you can come up with.

You can even find a friend who’s also interested in practicing open-mindedness and challenge each other with issues and ideas to be open-minded about.

One more thing. Notice how I never once mentioned how will open-mindedness be useful to you? That’s because focusing on the outcome will make it seem like a chore. Consider the outcome when choosing what habits to try, but once you get started, forget the outcome, and enjoy it like a game.

Personal development is fun. All you have to do is approach it in the right way.

…

Now stay with me, this is important. You might be tempted to skip the last few paragraphs.

Maybe you’re thinking of commenting, or retweeting this post.

Don’t. Not yet. Before you do anything else, I want you to use the information here.

Because while comments and retweets are nice, they’re not the real thing. The real thing is helping you improve your life.

So in a moment, when I say the word “now”, I want you to stop reading and start thinking. Think about your personal development, and how you could make it more fun. Then think of some specific actions you can take in the next 24 hours to make it more fun.

When you’re done, then you can go do something else. And if you come up with an interesting way of making personal development fun, please share it in the comments! 

Okay, ready? Three, two, one…

This blog post ends now.

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How to Make Personal Growth More Fun (and Easier) | Henrik Edberg

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”

Dale Carnegie

When you read this blog, other blogs and books on personal development it’s easy to get drawn into an atmosphere of this being really serious business.

And for someone who needs help it can be. If you are really out of shape or have a huge debt or haven’t had date in ages or just don’t know what to do with your life then it’s no fun.

However, as usual, I want emphasize what works here. And through my own experience these last few years I have discovered that taking this as deadly serious business makes things harder than they need to be.

So today I’d like to suggest a bunch of ways to make personal growth and achieving what you want more fun.

Think of it more as light and breezy fun rather than going to war.

No, you are not going to war. Thinking that you are can help you to ramp up enthusiasm and aggressiveness in the beginning. It seems to help you.

So you make any personal development goal – or just anything you want out of life – in to this epic struggle. Perhaps just in your mind or also by reading more and more about a topic.

The more you think and read about a topic the more complicated it seems in your mind and is also becomes “heavier”. What may have been pretty straightforward in real life becomes this huge struggle, where you are Rocky Balboa taking slow painstaking steps uphill against horrific odds. Yep, it’s a real inspiring thing as you struggle as the heroic underdog.

It’s also a great way to make things so much harder for yourself. It’s you putting up imaginary obstacles in your own mind that aren’t even there in reality. The Rocky way of thinking about these things is very seductive. But life becomes so much lighter and easier when you just let that stuff go.

It’s a bit counter-intuitive and it took me quite some time to understand this. You think that an overly serious attitude may seem like the right attitude to help you achieve your goal.

But a more relaxed and fun attitude where you tell yourself that what you are doing isn’t really that complicated, epic – millions of people have probably done what you want to do in last 1000 years or so – or super serious is often more effective to get the result you desire.

Of course, sometimes things will suck but I think that if you can approach things this way you’ll get more enjoyment on your path to your goal and you won’t put up extra obstacles on that path.

You can bring awareness to what you are thinking while on the daily walk on that path by asking yourself questions like “Honestly, am I overcomplicating this?” or ”Am I taking this a bit too seriously?”.

Find out what you have fun doing.

If you don’t like jogging don’t do it. Not everyone has be a runner to get exercise. Be curious and explore different options, perhaps soccer or table tennis is a better option for you? 
Finding what works and feels good for you makes it a lot easier to stick to the plan and be consistent each week rather than feeling like you have drag yourself to the gym again.

Detach from the outcome.

This is one of my favorite tips for making it easier to take action and to do so consistently. It makes the doing more enjoyable and there is less inner resistance or projections into the future that can screw things up.

I first got this tip from the ancient Sanskrit Hindu scripture Bhagavad Gita. It says:
“To action alone hast thou a right and never at all to its fruits; let not the fruits of action be thy motive; neither let there be in thee any attachment to inaction”

This tells me to understand that I cannot control the results of my action. I can’t control how someone reacts to what I say or what I do. And that I should do what I do just because it is something I want to do rather than because of some outcome I’d like. But at the same time I should not let these two ideas lead me to become passive and get stuck in sitting on my hands and not taking action at all.

Basically, I do what I think is right and that is my responsibility. And then the rest (the possible results), well, that is not up for me to decide about or try to control. I let it go.

Now, I apply this when I do something. I can get motivated by future results before the doing the activity. But when I start doing any those activities I detach and change how I think. I just focus on showing up and doing. This may sound a bit weird or hard but after a while it gets easier and easier to do that shift in your mind and to not start projecting into the future while you are doing.

You can apply this to:

• Working out. By focusing on just showing up and doing the workout you won’t get discouraged when you haven’t lost x pounds after a week. You become more patient and more emotionally stable when you don’t think about losing that weight all the time. If you just show up and work out – and control what you eat – the pounds will come off.

• Blogging. If you don’t have to worry about what people may think about your next post then it becomes a lot easier to calmly write what you want instead of getting stuck in some kind of writer’s block.

• Social interactions. If you detach from an outcome such as someone liking you at a party or on a date then you’ll be less nervous. You won’t try to impress people. You will be more like how you are with your closest friends, relaxed and easy going. Just being yourself is an often cited and sometimes criticized piece of advice. By detaching from outcomes – while still of course using your common sense – it will be a lot easier to just be the best version of yourself.

Focus on the positive things from the past.

It’s easy to fall back into the common habit of focusing on your past failures. Doing so can make you feel like giving up. Or like this is a war. Or like getting out of your comfort zone is just one big hassle.

So I suggest changing your focus. Remember when things went well.

Awash your mind with positive memories.

Realise it can be fun to get out of your comfort zone despite what your mind and feelings might be telling you before you get started. Think back to the previous times when you have broken out of your rut. Focus on the positive memories, when you got out there, when you took a chance. And you’ll recall that it wasn’t so bad, it was actually fun and exciting and something new to you.

A lot of the time we automatically play back our negative experiences – or negative interpretations of events – in our minds before we are about to do something. And we forget about the positive memories and our previous, positive achievements. Avoid that trap. Let the fun and good memories flow through your mind instead and let things become easier.

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Please let me know what you think below!

Mark Twain’s Top 9 Tips for Living a Kick-Ass Life | Henrik Edberg

“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.

Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favourite tips from him.

1. Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.

This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.

What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.

Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.

So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.

If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.

It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.

3. Lighten up and have some fun.

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions. When you are more light-hearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement. Have a look at Lighten Up! for more on this topic.

4. Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her. So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.

5. Release yourself from entitlement.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.

This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to. On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.

You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement.

If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways. Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.

Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgements they make.

And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.

So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks. They might just go: “OK”.

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

It may be “normal” to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit. You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.

This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people. You help someone and both of you feel good. The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.

Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend. And so the upward spiral grows and continues.

9. Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one. Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do with your life.

Please let me know what you think in the comments below! 

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The rules for success | Steve Jobs

You need a lot of passion for what you're doing because its so hard. Without passion, any rational person would give up.  So if you're not having fun doing it, if you don't absolutely love it, you're going to give up. And that's what happens to most people, actually.

If you look at the ones that ended up being successful in the eyes of society, often times its the ones who love what they do, so they could persevere when it got really tough. And the ones that didn't love it, quit. Because they're sane, right?  Who would put up with this stuff if you don't love it?

So its a lot of hard work and its a lot of worrying constantly. If you don't love it, you're going to fail.

Pretty amazing, huh? Let me know what you think below!

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15 Signposts on the Path to Success| Jeff Keller

People on the path of growth apply certain principles that allow them to achieve more and lead rich, rewarding lives. If you’re on the path to success, you are a different person than you were five years ago. You think differently. You act differently. You see the world differently. In short, you’re growing and evolving.

But unlike our physical growth, where we can clearly see and gauge our progress (or lack thereof), it is often difficult to measure our personal and professional growth. There is no simple test we can take to assess personal growth, but here are some “signposts” that we can use to gain insight into where we stand.

As you read through this article, measure your present situation against these signposts of personal and professional growth. Consider if you already embrace these ideals or how you might implement them on a more consistent basis.

1. Don’t Fix Blame or Make Excuses 
You realize more and more that pointing a finger at others is not the answer to your problems. Instead, you take personal responsibility for your own results and your own 
happiness. You focus on your attitude, your skills, your actions, and your discipline.

2. Don’t Look Back 
Dwelling on unpleasant events in the past won’t change them, and it only makes you feel rotten in the present. So why do it? Part of accepting personal responsibility is the recognition that, at any point, you can change the path you’re on. Learn from the past, but don’t obsess on it. Instead, take action today to create a positive future.

3. Guard the Sanctity of Your Thoughts 
You no longer doubt that your thoughts are creating your reality. And, if that’s the case, why would you ever think negatively? You’re disciplining yourself to focus on what you want, as opposed to what you don’t want.

4. Have a Sense of Gratitude Every Day 
When you’re young, you tend to take everything for granted: your health, the roof over your head, and the food on your plate. As the years go by, you suddenly experience the “darker” side of life. Either you or your relatives or friends face serious illnesses. You personally know people in their 30s, 40s, or 50s who die. Instead of complaining about the things in your life that aren’t perfect, you choose to be thankful for the many gifts you’ve been given. You identify with the sage advice of Eddie Rickenbacker, who once said, “If you have all the fresh water you want to drink and all the food you want to eat, you should never complain about anything.”

5. Laugh a Lot More, Especially at Yourself
Several times each day, you find yourself letting out a hearty belly laugh. You take your work seriously but not yourself. Whether you’re with clients, colleagues, friends, or family, make sure to laugh. You’ll feel better and have a lot more fun.

6. Get Excited About Something
When you’re living in the flow of life and up to your highest potential, you’re enthusiastic. You don’t have to go around slapping people on the back, but you’re upbeat and alive. You get up in the morning with a purpose, and you look forward to the day’s activities. People can just look at you, or speak with you, and immediately pick up on your positive energy.

7. Take Some Risks
No one is asking you to go skydiving or put your physical health at risk. However, the path of growth demands that you venture into the unknown. That’s where you discover yourself, and find out what you’re capable of achieving. You begin to get ideas and visions about great things you can accomplish, and you have the courage to go after them! Instead of just thinking about doing something, you take action and do it!

8. Be Less Concerned with What Other People Think
Do you still need to get someone’s approval before making a decision? On the path to success, you’re willing to do what you think is best for you, even if someone else won’t like it. On fundamental issues such as your career, your relationships, and your goals, it’s fine to get advice. But in the end, it’s your view that counts. You’ll never be happy following someone 
else’s plan for your life.

9. Place More Emphasis on Honesty and Integrity
Even when no one is looking, you do the right thing. Your aim is to build solid long-term relationships, both personally and professionally, and you can’t accomplish this unless you’re a person of character and integrity. Aside from being good to others, this is for your own self-interest. You see, whatever you send out in life will come back to you like a boomerang. You know that for people to treat you with honesty and respect, you must treat them the same way.

10. Stop Trying to ‘Fix’ Others
You’ve learned that a little self-development can be dangerous. While you’ve begun to see that there’s a better way to live and you’re anxious for others to “see the light” as well, you recognize that everyone has his or her own path to follow, and that you don’t decide the rate at which someone else progresses. So, instead of “converting” others, you continue to work on yourself and find that your example is more powerful than any sermon you can preach.

11. Take the Opportunity to Lift Someone Else
You remember how tough it was for you at each level of your life and your career, and how challenging it is right now! Furthermore, you know that you are where you now are, in large part, because some people believed in you, encouraged you, and helped you. You make a point to do the same for those who can benefit from your experience.

12. See Things in Perspective
Your list of what’s truly important in your life continues to shrink. You work hard and enjoy whatever material comforts you have, but “things” are not as essential to you as they once were. You recognize that your health and well-being and that of your loved ones is what really matters. You no longer let little day-to-day annoyances (at work or at home) dictate the attitude, pace, or results of your day.

13. Listen More … and Ask Questions
You’ve learned to tame your ego a bit and don’t feel the need to always be the center of attention. You realize that when you’re talking, you’re not learning anything. You balance your conversations and make sure to draw other people out by asking questions. You’re more interested in learning about their thoughts, ideas, and insights on various issues, their careers, and their families. Every person has a fascinating story to tell, and you want to hear it!

14. Discover That Discipline Is Fun
You never thought you’d say that! Yet it’s true. To build physical fitness, you exercise several times each week. To develop a successful sales career, you pay attention to the basics, day in and day out. You’re no longer looking for the “quick fix” or “quick buck.” Instead, you know full well that you must put in the effort before you can reap the reward. You find tremendous satisfaction in sticking with something and mastering it over a period of time.

15. Set High Standards for Yourself and Others
Careful, this isn’t about achieving “perfection.” Rather, on the path to success, you simply have the desire to reach more and more of your potential. You no longer settle for less than your best effort. And, as you see more of the potential in others, you encourage them to develop their talents as well.

These are 15 signposts on your road to personal and professional success. I’m sure you can add several more items as well, based on your own experiences. Keep these ideas in front of you on a regular basis to gauge your progress. Apply them consistently and you’ll enjoy phenomenal results, plus a tremendously exciting journey!

Learn more about Jeff Keller and his bestselling book Attitude Is Everything.

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