Tuesday, 24 January 2017

Mark Twain’s Top 9 Tips for Living a Kick-Ass Life | Henrik Edberg


“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.

Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favourite tips from him.

1. Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.

This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.
What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.

Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.
So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.

If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.

It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.

3. Lighten up and have some fun.


“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions. When you are more light-hearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement. Have a look at Lighten Up! for more on this topic.

4. Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her. So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.

5. Release yourself from entitlement.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.

This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to. On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.

You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.


A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement.
If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways. Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.

Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgements they make.

And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.

So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks. They might just go: “OK”.

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

It may be “normal” to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit. You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.
This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people. You help someone and both of you feel good. The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.

Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend. And so the upward spiral grows and continues.

9. Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one. Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do with your life.

Please let me know what you think in the comments below! 

Monday, 23 January 2017

The 30-day better-feeling thought process | Abraham, Esther & Jerry Hicks


If you are unfamiliar with the teachings of Abraham, just let it wash over you, and see how you feel later.

Excerpted from the DVD "Abraham's Processes of Creation" from Abraham-Hicks, which features six of Abraham's most powerful techniques to assist in "getting into The Vortex" and thus in alignment with all that is wanted.  This particular segment was recorded at an Abraham-Hicks Vortex of Attraction workshop in Phoenix, Arizona on 3/1/08.

Hope you enjoyed it.  Let me know what you think below.

Source 

Don’t worry about failure, because you only have to be right once | Blaz Kos



In almost every blog post, I emphasize that you have to search for your personal fits before you commit to or brutally focus on anything.
The reason for that is to not set your life strategy based on naivety and wrong assumptions, but to really get to know yourself and your environment with mini experiments, which enables you to shape your life strategy based on superior insights, immediate feedback and actionable metrics.
Consequently, you can adjust more quickly and focus on what really brings progress, success and happiness.
It’s very well proven that agile and lean strategy works not only in the startup world, but also among big brands, non-profit organizations and other business entities as well as in personal life as this blog teaches you. And we must not forget that the agile and lean methodologies are taught at the best business schools in the World.
There is only one huge problem with this strategy.
You must have the guts to experiment, you must have the courage to try hundreds of different things and you must be prepared to fail. You must be prepared to learn through failure and put your ego aside. You have to admit to yourself that you’re wrong, that you don’t know anything. At least in the beginning.
In addition to that, you also need a little bit of scientific nature. You must be curious, you need the desire to try different things, to understand the world as well as possible, and you must be eager to gain superior insights about yourself and what you want out of life. You also need a set of metrics and a framework to decide when to persevere and when to pivot.
You almost always have to face some kind of apathy before you find your fit, which means that following the AgileLeanLife strategy requires quite a lot of resilience, persistence and faith in the process. But there is some very good news when we talk about apathy.
Much like there’s the rule that you are always wrong before you are right, in the same waythere is a rule that you only have to be right once. Once you find your fit, you definitely still face different problems and challenges, but your life gets much easier. You know why and for what to fight. Your life mission becomes more important and huge than anything else in life.
Let’s go step by step and build the case for why you only have to be right once.

WHY DOES FINDING THE RIGHT FIT MATTER SO MUCH?

The only way to be really successful in any area of life is first finding your own fit. Some people are lucky enough that their parents, teachers or mentors see their potential and orientate them onto the right path towards their fit, but in most cases you have to find it once you enter the adult life.
Values, which show what’s important to you and what you value, are what determines whether you fit with something or not. And your talents and other personality traits also play a big role. Anyway, when you find the right fit, you just know it.
When you find it, passion awakens in you. You find yourself in something. You know that you can be successful in this. You see potential. You start to flourish and consider yourself lucky.
I’ve seen people working in companies where they fit in and where they don’t. The difference in their level of happiness, productivity, motivation etc. is like night and day. I’ve seen people struggle with a sport just because it was supposed to help them lose weight the fastest, and people who were doing a sport they’re talented for and really like. The first ones gave up very soon, the second ones made real lifestyle changes.
I’ve seen people who settled for the first partner they dated as well as people who made up their minds about what kind of a partner they want and then started searching until they found someone close to that. The probability of long-term happiness is much higher for the latter. That’s why finding your personal fit is so important.
So here’s the first rule of success in life and the road to living a good quality life.
Find the right person to build an intimate relationship with. Find a person for whom all the struggle is really worth it; and it will be worth it. Find a career that really suits you best, one that you’re passionate about and where you can really deliver the value added. In the same way, find your perfect diet, a sport you like, a group of people who support you and where you fit in, and so on.
In every single life area put in the effort to find your perfect fit, the thing that is part of your DNA and on which you can build a successful life. Successful people find their fits, unsuccessful people are trying to be something they’re not or do things that lie far away from their talents.

YOU FIND YOUR FIT THROUGH THE SEARCH MODE


I hope finding your fits makes sense to you. But how do you do that? You find your fit using the search mode.
The idea of the search mode is that you consciously prepare yourself through a series of failures that will hurt a lot, but will open to you the path to validated learning about yourself and your environment. The search mode represents a mindset and a somewhat scientific and systematic approach to finding your fit.
  • You go to a several dates that don’t work out
  • You work at a few companies that just aren’t for you
  • You try a few different occupations and suck at them
  • You buy yourself a thing in hope that will make you happy but it doesn’t
  • All these things hurt, but they enable you to learn about yourself
The first characteristic of the search mode is a special mindset. In the search mode, you shouldn’t have any expectations, you shouldn’t make any commitments and you shouldn’t do any hard work.
In the search phase, you just try, experiment, observe, reflect and learn about yourself and the world. The most important thing in this phase is to have no fixed ideas and no expectations at all. The key thing is to not to get too ego invested.
The second special characteristic of the search mode is the approach. Your only job in the search mode is to test the assumptions you’ve written down, correct them, and try different things. The key is to stay 100 % flexible and open-minded and, as mentioned, not invested in anything. Because the more you get invested, the more inflexible you become.
In practical terms, that means you should have a spreadsheet or a list of paper, where you write down:
  • What your assumption about yourself or the world is (I think the vegetarian diet would work for me)
  • How you will put your assumption to the test (I won’t eat meat for 3 months.)
  • How you will measure results (blood test, happiness index, energy levels etc.)
  • In which case you will decide to persevere and in which to pivot
  • A list of additional experiments you can make after you finish this one
The key thing you have to do is to do regular reflections when you’re performing the experiments. That is the most valuable part of the process.
Before marking a hypothesis as validated or rejected, you should ask yourself what you’ve learned, what you’ll test next, how you’ll change your plans, and so on. A search mode without deep and systematic reflection has very little value.
Again, if you don’t have a piece of paper with the key findings and insights, and if you don’t write down what you’ve learnt, you’re missing the point of the search mode.
Only after you find your fit in the search phase do you start executing. Sometimes it may take a few months to find you fit, sometimes a few years. After you find your fit, you go from the search mode to the execution mode. You set strong foundations, have laser focuscommit fully, start working hard and achieving your goals. You optimize, improve, and measure your progress with very detailed and execution type of metrics.
There are five big problems you have to face in the search mode:
  • You can easily get stuck in the analysis-paralysis.
  • You see learning only as a good excuse and thus there is no real validated learning.
  • You have emotional problems dealing with uncertainty, because you don’t trust the process, yourself or others enough.
  • You stick to things that don’t work, because your mind is not flexible enough or you get tired.
  • You expect short-term results that are rarely achievable.
All these five problems aren’t easy to deal with. But by far the hardest thing you have to face is the apathy before finding your fit.

IN THE SEARCH MODE YOU REALLY HAVE TO FACE APATHY


The process before you find your fit is really painful and psychologically demanding. It’s called the apathy before finding your fit. Here are the main reasons that cause apathy:
  • You try a new thing and it doesn’t work. You try a new one, failure again.
  • Then you think you’ve found something good, but in the next step, you realize you haven’t.
  • From time to time, you realize how delusional and wrong you were and your ego suffers.
  • It almost always takes longer than expected and it costs more than you plan.
  • You need to sit down, analyze and be very systematic. Not to mention all the rejections you have to face.
This search phase really is best described with the quote that success is going from failure to failure without giving up. The whole process before finding your fit sucks even more in the beginning; because in the beginning, you’re a newbie and your competences and skills aren’t that good.
For example, you’ve just gathered the courage to start dating, but your dating skills suck, so you get rejected again and again.
But apathy is the necessary part. It’s the life test of whether you really want something and whether you’re prepared to fight for it. It’s a test of whether you’re able to get out of the Valley of Death or not. The alternative is not good.
If you don’t manage to get out of the Valley of Death, you turn into a zombie and your life turns to shit. On a more positive note, the apathy phase is also the part of the process where you learn and grow the most.
One more thing you must keep in mind. The worse that your starting position is, the more time it’ll take to find your fit. The worse that your starting position is, the longer the apathy will probably last.
A worse position simply means that you don’t yet know yourself and what you really want, that you lack resources, competences, leverages, and so on. In other words, you have to work harder for success if your starting point sucks.
The best news and a motivational thought to deal with apathy is the fact that you only have to be right once.

BUT YOU ONLY HAVE TO BE RIGHT ONCE

You need to develop ONE competence based on your talents that is in high demand and low supply. You need to find ONE spouse who fits you perfectly and you can build a dream life together. You need to find ONE sport that you don’t dislike and have no troubles doing daily. You have to find ONE diet that enables you to maintain weight and feel energized. You need ONE business idea that works.
When you find your fit, you have something you can build your success on, which can last for years or even a lifetime. In addition to that, when you find your perfect fit, there is more room for common human errors (well, some of them). The perfect fit is the best cure for your mistakes.
Don’t worry about failure; you only have to be right once.” – Drew Houston, Dropbox founder and CEO
But here’s the thing. The moment you’re right, all the bitter past failures turn into a winning strategy. You finally manage to climb to the top of the world.
Other people see you as lucky, but you know that finding your fit was a very carefully orchestrated process. You know you deserve it, because you put in all the hard and smart work. You know you succeeded because you joined the club of people who are willing to go through the apathy of the search mode.
Apathy and failure aren’t something that lasts forever. It’s something you pass by, if you learn quickly enough. You are wrong and wrong until you are right. Then you become a true winner. Luckily, you only have to be right once.
That does seem to take the pressure off, doesn't it!  Let me know what you think below.

Sunday, 22 January 2017

The surprising habits of original thinkers | Adam Grant


How do creative people come up with great ideas? Organizational psychologist Adam Grant studies "originals": thinkers who dream up new ideas and take action to put them into the world. In this talk, learn three unexpected habits of originals — including embracing failure. 

"The greatest originals are the ones who fail the most, because they're the ones who try the most," Grant says. "You need a lot of bad ideas in order to get a few good ones."

Originals are "quick to start, and slow to finish."

"Originals feel fear too.  They are afraid of failing, but what sets them apart from the rest of us is that they are even more afraid of failing to try."

"Know 

 - that being quick to start but slow to finish can boost your creativity, 
 - that you can motivate yourself by doubting your ideas and embracing the fear of failing to       try, 
 - that you need a lot of bad ideas in order to get a few good ones."  

"Look being original is not easy, but I have no doubt about this: it's the best way to improve the world around us."

Please let me know what you think below.

Source 

How to escape the overthinking trap: stop judging yourself | Mark Rice-Oxley

The despair from comparing ourselves with others is the original fake news. We need to develop a new relationship with our thoughts.



Before Christmas I took a young relative to a jazz concert. The thought of it ruined his whole day. He scuffed around the house like an alt-right voter at a refugee camp.


In the event, even he acknowledged that we had a fine time. But neither of us would ever get back the dreadful hours that preceded it. He’d fallen prey to a cardinal paradox – poisoning the present by agonising over a future hardship that never materialised.
We’ve all done that. The homo sapiens is so damn clever, and yet sometimes so stupid with it. We are the only species that can really think “offline” – wrapped up in things that haven’t yet happened or things that are long gone but can never be changed. This makes us excellent problem solvers, but appalling worriers at the same time.
Thinking is what gave humans ascendancy. But overthinking is threatening to bring us down. Critical thinking has undoubtedly advanced our cause and become one of the essential assets of being so brilliantly human, but introspective thinking – our near constant self-evaluation, who we are, where we fit, how we compare – is becoming one of the most destructive aspects of modern life. We must purge it.
We are in thrall to the rigid, judgmental thoughts we think about ourselves, prisoners of the sinewy web of cogitation that tells us we are strong, clever, important, unassertive, patriotic, hopeless, old, fat, hard done by, forgotten – when actually we may be many of these things rolled into one. This narrow view of ourselves shapes impossible expectations that can only lead to disappointment. It ripples outwards into our emotions and our behaviour. The results are to be seen daily on our front pages. A father thinks he is the ultimate authority in his family. When his daughter challenges him, he has her killed. A young man thinks he is strong, identifies through his supposed manliness; it directs his violent behaviour.
Our obsessive thinking about ourselves even informs the air of political revolt that made 2016 such a big turning point. In the richest, healthiest, most prosperous era we have ever known, people punish themselves by ruminating and finding that their lives don’t match up to those they think others are leading. It’s a short step from disappointment to blame, and a protest vote.
But this overthinking tendency is not limited to politics. It embeds personal misery in an era in which we are tempted, even encouraged, to compare ourselves with other people: the teenager who feels low because of what her Instagram feed makes her think; the thwarted youngster, demoralised by the success of others; the employee who feels insecure because she thinks the boss blanked her on the stairwell; the hypochondriac who thinks he is dying of everything. Think bad, feel bad. Compare and despair. It’s no wonder there is a mental illness epidemic out there. Time to wake up, people. The voice in your head is not who you are. It’s just an excitable commentator. You are the game.
Too much of our behaviour is determined not by how things are, but how we think things are. But this thinking is not worth paying too much attention to, for two reasons. First, it is probably incorrect. Let’s face it: we are hardly objective in evaluating ourselves. We overexaggerate both our talents and failings. This is the original fake news.
And second, whether right or wrong, these self-evaluations simply are not helpful. They just make us feel worse.



We need a completely new relationship with our thoughts. Instead of viewing the world and our experience as we think they ought to be, we need to treat them as they actually are. We need to recognise when we are ruining a day, a week, a moment or a relationship with catastrophic thoughts and judgments, and understand that often it is the thought itself that makes us feel bad, not the experience itself.
But how to cultivate that sense of detachment from a poisonous, unhelpful or just plain wrong stream of thinking? Visual clues can help: a post-it on a computer screen (mine just says “thinking …”) or a screensaver on a phone. I wear a black wristband to remind me why I do this. A discreet tattoo might do the same, if that’s your thing.
Habit is even better: get used to observing, say, the first three thoughts you have upon waking every day – were they functional, workaday, banal; or were they judgmental, apprehensive, punishing? Some people like to use motifs – thoughts as a torrent of traffic, cars driving past, and you don’t have to get in the passenger seat. And that same recurring, corrosive notion can be an ugly polluting SUV that comes, stays and moves on again, without really affecting you. Or else thoughts are a busy stream, chattering away in front of you, often pulling you under. But each time you are submerged, eventually you notice and pull yourself out and sit undisturbed, again and again until it starts to become habit to notice the thought rather than believe it.
Happily, some schools are starting to teach this important element of psychological flexibility. It should be compulsory in secondary schools.The myriad apps that teach the practice of being present in the now are another entry point, helping us cultivate our observing selves, rather than our thinking selves.
Instead of obsessing, fuming, curdling about things we don’t have, we need to accept and celebrate what we do. Instead of worrying about things we can’t control – people’s opinion of us, for example – we need to direct our attentions to things we can influence, and leave the rest be. Instead of judging each other, and – worse – ourselves, let us simply take as we find. Instead of ruining our short time alive by setting expectations of how we think everything should be, from our jobs to our love lives, our children to our prospects, let us accept that some things will not always go as we wish.
You’re not who you think you are. You’re so much more than that.

Powerful stuff!  Let me know what you think below!

Source 




Saturday, 21 January 2017

How to succeed | Jim Rohn


"What's got you turned on?  What's got you bombed out of sight: to get up early, stay up late and hit it all day?...

"What's got you turned off?...  

"When I found the answers to those two questions, my life exploded into change..."

Great video with a simple powerful message about the importance of discovering what really matters to you if you want to succeed in life.

Please let me know what you think below.

Source 

4 Small, Simple Ways To Get Back Your Sparkle | Tia Sparkles


Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realising that life is made up of little things. – Frank A Clark.


Little things are happening around us every day.

Every moment, in fact, we are encountering little things. Yesterday, when I was walking into a shop, a woman smiled at me. I smiled back and thought to myself, “That was such a small thing but it made me happy to be acknowledged by a stranger.”

Often we dismiss the small stuff because we are caught up in the bigger picture. We’re working towards our goals that are afar off and forget to stop and “smell the roses” along the way.

Not every little thing is as positive as a happy face or a helping hand, though.

Little negative things happen, too. Things go wrong some days. We can focus on them so heavily that they take over our lives.

Instead of letting frustration get the better of us, being able to see small positives will pull us through each of those negative days. Wonderful things are all around us if we could but notice them.

It all depends on our outlook and attitude.


Does small stuff make you sparkle inside?

Consider the following situations:



SCENARIO ONE: YOU’VE HAD A BAD DAY.


So nothing went right for you today? You had to start one of your jobs three times before you got it right; your friend forgot it was the day to meet you for lunch – and so on.

These negative things can be blown out of all proportion causing you to label the day a failure.

** Get back your sparkle **

If you focus on positive aspects of the day, your face will turn from a scowl to a smile. It’s not easy to see the positives because several happenings, one after the other, can really cloud any sunshine.

Maybe the job you started three times was very impressive when you eventually finished it. Be grateful and smile. Maybe your mum/spouse had your favourite meal ready when you arrived home. That’s enough to warm anyone’s heart – and tummy.

Seeing the happiness that little things can bring will change your opinion of the day. It really wasn’t so bad after all, was it?

“As you start and end your day, say ‘thank you’ for every little thing in your life, and you will come to realise how blessed you truly are.” Unknown.

SCENARIO TWO : BIG THINGS ARE A PRIORITY NOW.




When you were a kid, your day was filled with little things that brought a smile to your face. You ran outside in the rain; you looked with wonder at the first strawberry growing on your plant; you sat on your swing and laughed as the breeze blew through your hair.

Now, though, there’s no time for the playful things of life. The big things have taken over. Rush to the bus so that you get to work on time; cancel morning tea with your friend because an important meeting has suddenly been scheduled – and so on and on.

** Get back your sparkle **

One way to cope with the busyness of life while you make sure you put some small stuff back into the mix, is to follow the five/two and two/five rules.

On week days, schedule five jobs for the day that must be done, but schedule two things for yourself that you love to do.

At the weekend the numbers reverse. Do five things for yourself – a family picnic, coffee with a friend – but schedule two jobs that must be done to keep your life afloat.

“I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things . . . I play with leaves, I skip down the street and run against the wind.” Leo Buscaglia.


SCENARIO THREE: PEOPLE ARE ANNOYING YOU.


Well, that’s part of life, eh? People annoy us, of course. Family, friends, ones we love, people in our work situation, all annoy us at times. Dealing with annoyances isn’t easy.

I find that instead of managing the day as things happen, I try to set the agenda or feeling for the day myself. That way I can better deal with whatever comes along.

** Get back your sparkle **

I’ll tell someone I love them, compliment someone on their work or how they look, drop a coin into the busker’s hat, and generally be on the lookout for opportunities to pass happiness on. This makes me happy inside, as well as the other person.

Of course, every day isn’t going to go along like this – in a positive way. There’ll still be difficulties to overcome and disappointments to handle. But we won’t come crashing down as far as we might have, had we not started the day off positively.

So try to factor the small stuff into every day. You set the agenda and see the difference that makes, to you and others.

“You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow annoy you.” Robert Anton Wilson.

SCENARIO FOUR: SMALL STUFF THAT DOESN’T SPARKLE.




One weekend we looked after two children while their mum flew interstate for a job interview. The 10-year-old asked me a question, when we were getting ready for a picnic. “Why do you worry so much about little things?” I was taken aback. When I thought about it, I found, to my surprise, that I do this a lot.

Little things annoy me, like: Where are the scissors? (I always put them back in their appropriate place, but other family members don’t.) Why is the ‘phone ringing just when I’m ready to leave for an appointment?

** Get back your sparkle **

Instead of just accepting that these things happen, I was displaying annoyance. I could see that these little things were setting the tone for the day. I wasn’t in control at all, they were.

From that moment on I decided to monitor my behaviour to my own and others’ advantage. These are only little things but the minute I accepted that things happen and worked around the issues without getting cranky, the day was happier.

In this scenario, attitude is key. How easy it is to change our attitude! I could see beyond the trivial to the many good things about the day.



“Little things seem nothing, but they give peace, like those meadow flowers which individually seem odourless but all together perfume the air.” Georges Bernanos.


Which leads me to wonder – are there really any little things in life?

I’m reminded of the words of Bruce Barton: “Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think there are no little things.”

From now, I’ll look at small stuff in a different light.

It’s the small stuff that can reach inside ourselves and out to others, and change a day entirely. When we stop concentrating on annoyances, minor problems, or the busyness of life, we are open to seeing little miracles all around us.

Smile and let the sun shine through you to others with whom you come in contact each day. You don’t know when the little things you do and say will make a difference – somewhere.

The world might be a better place because of the small stuff that you were responsible for, that grew and grew into bigger stuff.


Please let me know what you think below.

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