Showing posts with label negative. Show all posts
Showing posts with label negative. Show all posts

Friday, 31 March 2017

Building a Powerful Gut Instinct | Steve Pavlina


Human logic is incredibly limited. Even our best logic is layered upon emotional biases and instinctual behaviors. Logic doesn’t care if we learn and grow. Logic doesn’t care if we’re happy or miserable. Logic doesn’t care if we live or die.

Fortunately, logic is only one tool for making decisions. Our bodies have many more layers of intelligence.

One of those layers is your gut instinct. Many people experience this as a sensation in the abdominal region.

When I used to eat animal products, it was nearly impossible for me to tune into my gut instinct. That channel was almost completely muted. I’d only notice it in extreme situations, like when I got arrested. I think my inability to hear that channel was one reason I did so much shoplifting in my late teens. How could I hear it while so much of my energy was being used to digest a bacon double cheeseburger, french fries, and a milkshake?

When I went vegetarian, my gut instincts finally became audible, and they grew louder and clearer when I went vegan, but it still took many years for me to start trusting them. I wasn’t used to receiving information on this channel, so I didn’t consider it important. But as the volume increased, I couldn’t entirely ignore it, so I began exploring these signals through the lens of spirituality. I’d listen through meditation. I’d journal about these signals. I’d discuss my impressions with like-minded people. I interpreted this as a spiritual awakening of some kind. But in my day-to-day practical life, I largely disregarded this information.

Over time I slowly realized that my gut instinct was providing useful information, but I only saw this in hindsight. I didn’t act in alignment with these impressions when they first came up, but I eventually dealt with the consequences of doing the opposite. For instance, I paid the price of doing business with people who gave me a queasy feeling in my stomach.

Most of the time when I felt this gut instinct, it was a negative feeling. That made it hard for me to listen to it because I saw myself as a positive thinker. My personal bias was to find a way to make a deal happen or to make a relationship work. I wanted to achieve things. 

Saying yes to new experiences was a key part of my path of growth. I had a strong tendency to discount my gut feelings when they were negative. I figured that it was the voice of fear and cowardice and that I should simply power through it.

The way I see this gut instinct now is that it’s a summary reading of the combined energies of a situation.

These sensations are usually very general. They don’t come packaged with details or explanations. A gut instinct is like a thermometer. It can tell you if something is hot or cold, but it can’t tell you why.


Finding the Positive Path


For many years my gut instinct seemed like an annoying naysayer. But occasionally it would give me a positive sensation, such as when I was reading personal development books or going to a conference. The negative signals were often louder and more prominent, so when I experienced the positive ones, it mostly felt like a form of escapism.

Eventually I began to explore paths that gave me stronger positive signals, such as when I started writing articles in 1999. Reading a good book was something nice to do for myself, but writing articles clearly impacted other people’s lives as well. I noticed that when I considered ideas that involved some form of contribution, my gut gave me stronger positive signals than usual. I began doing a lot of volunteering during this time as well.

As I began receiving more positive signals to balance out the negative ones, I felt encouraged to trust these gut instincts a little more and to take more action in alignment with them. I was far from perfectly trusting, but life seemed a little more fair once I began sensing opportunities to pursue instead of only traps to avoid. I felt like this instinct was finally meeting me halfway instead of just being a naysayer. It’s easier to listen to a voice that says yes sometimes and no sometimes instead of only no, no, no.

I began taking more risks to act on this voice, and over a period of years, I explored more of its subtleties. The tricky part was distinguishing this voice from other channels like my memories, beliefs, and conditioned emotional responses. Sometimes I’d feel some fear or trepidation about a new experience, like volunteering to speak at a conference, but my gut instinct was telling me to go for it. Making such discernments required patient practice. The more I listened to these signals and practiced deciphering them, the more I could hear their individual voices and make better decisions. It’s like learning to distinguish the voices of different people talking in a crowded room. Your brain will figure it out with some practice.


Turning Up the Volume



I noticed that sometimes my gut instinct was very clear while other times it was murky. I found that the level of clarity was linked to my health habits. When I exercised a lot, the signal was especially clear. If I slacked off from exercise, it was harder to get a clear signal.
When I began exploring raw foods, these gut feelings became ridiculously loud and clear. Sometimes I found the signals overwhelming. 

This is one reason that I’ve been going back and forth between raw foods and cooked foods for so many years. I began dabbling in raw foods as far back as 1997, and I did my first 30-day 100% raw trial around 2003. In 2008 I ate 100% raw for six months straight. In the years since then, I’ve gone raw for 30 or more days many more times, especially when I wanted some extra clarity, but eating raw continuously hasn’t become my default baseline yet.

For the past two months, I’ve been eating mostly raw again, including 100% raw for several weeks in a row. Presently I’m eating about 90% raw. I still find it difficult to handle the intensity of my gut instincts when they’re at such a high volume. Eating cooked food has the effect of turning down the volume. Right now this is working well for me.

Another aspect of eating lots of raw food is dealing with the extra physical energy. I feel a little stir crazy if I eat raw and don’t move a lot. My gut instinct also tells me I need to spend more time outside in the sunlight. This morning I decided to take a day off from exercise and still ended up going for a 9-mile walk before breakfast. When I eat mostly cooked food, the urge to move isn’t nearly as compelling.


Trusting the Signals


I often like working and playing in sprints, with each sprint lasting a few weeks. This month I had planned to do two different sprints. First, I wanted to create the web pages for the new workshops we’ve booked and to open registrations for them. Second, I wanted to visit Costa Rica.

Logically it made sense to do the workshop pages first, then go to Costa Rica. That way people would have more time to learn about the workshops and to figure out which one(s) they want to attend. Going on the trip would be a nice reward for completing that project. So that was my initial decision.

But when I started trying to implement the decision, my gut said it was the wrong decision. I’d been eating 100% raw for several weeks in a row at this point, so that voice was loud and clear. I should go to Costa Rica first, then handle the workshop pages after I got back.

I decided to listen to the signal, but it didn’t feel like I was making a decision — more like the decision was made for me. I booked a flight and landed in San José the following day.

Overall it was a really nice trip. Rachelle and I explored several museums, a coffee and banana plantation, the top of a volcano, two rainforests, several waterfalls, and the capital of San José. We saw huge colonies of leafcutter ants as well as a bullet ant that was almost an inch long. We saw poisonous frogs. We saw orchids galore. We saw toucans up close and held them perched on our arms. We spoke a lot of Spanglish with the locals.

A few days before I was to fly back to the USA, I started having an intense allergic reaction. I began sneezing a lot, my nose ran like crazy, and my eyes kept watering. I felt like I had a cat sitting on my head, and I barely got any sleep that night. I couldn’t breathe through my nose at all. The next day was no better. Even after I showered and we went to another location an hour’s drive away, the symptoms continued all day long. It didn’t seem like a food allergy because I didn’t have any digestive issues. It felt like I was suddenly allergic to the air. I was puzzled since it was obvious that I was having a strong allergic reaction, but to what? How could it be following me around like this from one location to another?

I’m allergic to cats, but normally I’d have to pet one or come into direct contact with cat hair to have any notable issues, and I didn’t spend any time around cats on this trip. This reaction was much worse than any cat allergy I’d ever experienced.

While we explored a rainforest and I continued sneezing and blowing my nose dozens of times, a guide told us that one of the nearby volcanos had recently undergone a small eruption, spewing ash into the air which fell all around San José and beyond. He said that some people are allergic to volcanic ash, and he described the symptoms that I was experiencing. I’d never been in the vicinity of a volcanic eruption before, but apparently I’m one of those allergic people.

My symptoms continued for the rest of the trip, but once I got on the flight to Miami, I started feeling better almost immediately. I’d never felt so grateful to breathe the air inside a plane before. By the time I arrived back in Vegas, the symptoms were 80% gone. Within a few more days, I was back to normal.

Another oddity on this trip was the weather. When I checked the weather app on my phone before and after I arrived in San José, the forecast was 10 solid days of thunderstorms — not a single dry day in sight. I’d never seen a weather forecast like that, not even in Seattle. San José gets so much rain that there are trenches between the streets and sidewalks for the water to flow. You have to step over these trenches when crossing the street. Some are so wide and deep that they have small bridges built over them. Why would I want to go on a trip to a place where the expectation was constant rain?

Logically I expected this to be a very wet trip, but in actuality it didn’t rain much at all while I was there. Most days were partly cloudy and partly sunny. When it did rain, it was usually at night while I was inside. A couple other times when it rained, it was while walking in a rainforest, and the canopy served as an effective umbrella. Overall the weather was beautiful while I was there.

Despite all the sneezing in the final days of the trip, I had a wonderful time in Costa Rica. It turned out to be a really good time to go. But I didn’t realize how good the decision was till I returned home. A few days after I got back, there was a much larger volcanic eruption, covering the city of San José in tons of ash. Hundreds of people were hospitalized because of it.

If I had gone against my gut instinct, I’d be in San José right now. With the minor eruption that happened while I was there, I had one of the strongest allergic reactions I’ve ever experienced, and I couldn’t even see any ash in the air or on the ground. Given the situation there now, with visible ash in the air, on the ground, and inside buildings, I might have been one of those people headed for the hospital.

I suppose that now I also have the benefit of knowing that I’m allergic to volcanic ash, which may be a good thing to know when I travel to volcanically active places in the future. 🙂
While many people turn to raw foods to heal from serious illnesses, another attractor is the heightened sensitivity to various forms of energy — the energy of living beings, the energy of places, and perhaps the energy of the planet itself.


Letting the Locking Relay Float


Because these energies are always in flux, I find it nearly impossible to make gut-based decisions far in advance. The signals are very present-moment. When I make a gut-based decision, there’s a certain immediacy to it. I have to run with it right away.

It’s not unusual for me to feel a surge of clarity about taking a trip and to be in another city within 24-48 hours. Sometimes I’ve made a decision to take a trip in the morning, and I’m arriving at my destination that same evening. Sometimes my gut screams YES, but I know the YES is time sensitive. I have to act immediately or not at all. Even delaying one day can kill the timing.

One of my favorite Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes is “Lower Decks.” It includes the following scene, which begins when Ensign Sito takes too long to obey an order to fire the phasers.
RIKER: What happened back there, Ensign?
SITO: I’m sorry, sir. When we changed course I had to re-lock phasers before I could fire.
RIKER: Next time, try letting the locking relay float until the actual order to fire is given. They may not teach that trick at the Academy, but it works.
SITO: Thank you, sir.
When people ask me about my plans and intentions, especially with a desire to lock me into certain commitments, I often recall this scene. It reminds me not to succumb to the pressure to prematurely commit myself when my gut instincts are still in flux.

I understand people’s desire for predictability and certainty, especially when they want to coordinate their schedules with me. But I know from experience that it’s usually best for me to let the locking relay float until the order to fire is given. In other words, I prefer to let my plans and options float until I get a strong gut instinct to go a certain direction. Then I lock the decision into place and fire with immediate action.

I hope that what I’ve shared here gives you some insights to further develop your own gut instinct — and to trust it when your signals are loud and clear.

Source 

Thursday, 16 March 2017

Fear of Success: What Will Happen if You Succeed? | Steve Pavlina


Sometimes you find yourself with a goal you think you should want to achieve, but you just don’t seem to be taking enough action to reach it. You aren’t really afraid of failure or rejection, the path to the goal seems clear enough and might even be an interesting challenge, and occasionally you’ll make some progress. But most of the time you can’t seem to get into that flow state, and you’re not sure why. This often happens with long-term goals that require intermittent action, like losing weight or transitioning to start a new business and eventually quit your job.

One question I’ve found helpful to ask in these situations is this: What will happen if you succeed? Forget about what you hope will happen or what you fear might happen, but realistically consider what probably will happen. So you achieve your goal. Then what? What else will change?

I’m not talking about giving a 5-second cursory answer, like “If I lose the weight, then I’ll be thin.” Set aside at least 15-30 minutes just to think about how your life will really change once you achieve your goal (with no TV, radio, or other distractions). There are often unexpected side effects that you may not be aware of consciously, but subconsciously they can be enough to prevent you from taking committed action. For example, if you lose a lot of weight, here are some possible side effects: people will notice and will comment about it, other people will ask you for diet advice, you may feel you need to continue with a permanent lifestyle change to maintain your new weight, you may need to buy new clothes, you may become more attractive to others and thereby attract more social encounters (wanted or unwanted), overweight friends might become jealous, your family may resist your changes, you may feel stressed about whether you can keep the weight off, you may worry about the loss of certain favorite foods from your diet, and so on.

It’s rare that a goal is all roses. Success requires change, and change has both positive and negative consequences. Often while people claim to want to succeed at something, the reality is that the negatives outweigh the positives for them. But one way to overcome this problem is to consciously think about what those negatives are, and then uproot them one by one. Uprooting a negative side effect could mean figuring out how to eliminate it completely, or it could mean just accepting it and learning to live with it.

It’s certainly helpful to focus on the positive side of a goal. But don’t forget to take an occasional survey of the dark side and accept that you’re going to have to deal with that too.
Unlike fear of failure and fear of rejection, fear of success can be far more insidious because it’s almost always unconscious. But it’s not fear of success itself that is the problem but rather fear of the side effects of success, many of which may be genuinely unwanted. Fears that are never evaluated consciously have a tendency to grow stronger. The reason is simple behavioral conditioning — when you avoid something you fear (either consciously or subconsciously), you automatically reinforce the avoidance behavior. So when you (even unknowingly) avoid working on your goal because of a hidden fear of success, you actually reinforce the habit of procrastination, so as time goes by, it becomes harder and harder to get yourself to take action. Insidious!


Asking, “What will happen if I succeed?” can solve this problem because it focuses your conscious attention on those fears. Fear has a tendency to shrink under direct examination, making it easier for you to take action. When I say that fear shrinks, another way of stating this is that subconscious behavioral conditioning weakens under conscious scrutiny. I know some people dislike the word “fear” with respect to their own behavior — don’t get hung up on the exact wording; call it “avoidance behavior” if that’s more to your liking.

But an additional benefit is that you can also devise intelligent work-arounds for those fears-made-conscious, some of which may indeed be valid signals of unsolved problems. For example, going back to the weight loss example, if you lose a lot of weight, you probably will need new clothes. And if you don’t have the money to buy new clothes, then that is a real problem you’ll need to address (unless you don’t mind wearing oversized outfits). Left unacknowledged, even a simple problem like this can be enough to subconsciously sabotage you from achieving your goal. But once you examine the situation consciously and figure out a way to deal with it in advance, you’re sending a message to your subconscious that you needn’t fear this problem because you have a practical way to solve it.

Now let’s consider the opposite side. Suppose you ask, “What will happen if I succeed?” and upon considering all the side effects, you realize that you don’t actually want to achieve the goal at all. The negatives outweigh the positives. I encountered this when I made a plan to grow my games business but didn’t seem to make as much progress as I wanted. When I asked this magic question, I realized that I didn’t really want to achieve the goal with all its side effects — what I really wanted was to transition to writing and speaking full time, and further building my games business would actually take me farther from that more important goal. Growing my games business seemed like a goal I should want, but when I really thought about where I’d be if I achieved that goal, I realized it wouldn’t be the success I truly wanted. That was a difficult realization for me… to recognize that my original ladder of success was now leaning against the wrong building. So I actually had to “unset” that goal once I really understood the likely consequences of achieving it.

Even now as I set goals in the direction of writing and speaking as my new career, I recognize that there are big side effects. I simply don’t have the mental bandwidth for two full-time careers. One of the hardest side effects for me was letting go of the goals and dreams I had for my games business. All those creative ideas for new games that will never be… and the would-be players who will never experience them…. But this is outweighed by what will happen as I succeed in my new career. To create a new game that challenges, entertains, and uplifts people is wonderful; however, being able to help people grow fulfills me even more. I found it a very enlightening process to review all these side effects and one by one to acknowledge that I accept them.

What will happen if you succeed? If you lose the weight… get the date… earn the promotion… start the business… get pregnant… quit smoking… become a millionaire… stretch yourself?

Source 

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Programming your mind for success | Carrie Green | TEDxManchester



Carrie Green started her first online business at the age of 20, whilst studying Law at the University of Birmingham. Within a few years she took the business global, selling throughout the UK, USA, Canada, Australia and Europe and receiving over 100,000 hits on the website every month.

In 2011 Carrie launched the Female Entrepreneur Association as a way to help inspire and connect female entrepreneurs from around the world. The network has grown to over 140,000 women and they now produce a digital magazine, This Girl Means Business, weekly videos, free online classes and more.

"Success is no accident."

Saturday, 21 January 2017

4 Small, Simple Ways To Get Back Your Sparkle | Tia Sparkles


Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realising that life is made up of little things. – Frank A Clark.


Little things are happening around us every day.

Every moment, in fact, we are encountering little things. Yesterday, when I was walking into a shop, a woman smiled at me. I smiled back and thought to myself, “That was such a small thing but it made me happy to be acknowledged by a stranger.”

Often we dismiss the small stuff because we are caught up in the bigger picture. We’re working towards our goals that are afar off and forget to stop and “smell the roses” along the way.

Not every little thing is as positive as a happy face or a helping hand, though.

Little negative things happen, too. Things go wrong some days. We can focus on them so heavily that they take over our lives.

Instead of letting frustration get the better of us, being able to see small positives will pull us through each of those negative days. Wonderful things are all around us if we could but notice them.

It all depends on our outlook and attitude.


Does small stuff make you sparkle inside?

Consider the following situations:



SCENARIO ONE: YOU’VE HAD A BAD DAY.


So nothing went right for you today? You had to start one of your jobs three times before you got it right; your friend forgot it was the day to meet you for lunch – and so on.

These negative things can be blown out of all proportion causing you to label the day a failure.

** Get back your sparkle **

If you focus on positive aspects of the day, your face will turn from a scowl to a smile. It’s not easy to see the positives because several happenings, one after the other, can really cloud any sunshine.

Maybe the job you started three times was very impressive when you eventually finished it. Be grateful and smile. Maybe your mum/spouse had your favourite meal ready when you arrived home. That’s enough to warm anyone’s heart – and tummy.

Seeing the happiness that little things can bring will change your opinion of the day. It really wasn’t so bad after all, was it?

“As you start and end your day, say ‘thank you’ for every little thing in your life, and you will come to realise how blessed you truly are.” Unknown.

SCENARIO TWO : BIG THINGS ARE A PRIORITY NOW.




When you were a kid, your day was filled with little things that brought a smile to your face. You ran outside in the rain; you looked with wonder at the first strawberry growing on your plant; you sat on your swing and laughed as the breeze blew through your hair.

Now, though, there’s no time for the playful things of life. The big things have taken over. Rush to the bus so that you get to work on time; cancel morning tea with your friend because an important meeting has suddenly been scheduled – and so on and on.

** Get back your sparkle **

One way to cope with the busyness of life while you make sure you put some small stuff back into the mix, is to follow the five/two and two/five rules.

On week days, schedule five jobs for the day that must be done, but schedule two things for yourself that you love to do.

At the weekend the numbers reverse. Do five things for yourself – a family picnic, coffee with a friend – but schedule two jobs that must be done to keep your life afloat.

“I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things . . . I play with leaves, I skip down the street and run against the wind.” Leo Buscaglia.


SCENARIO THREE: PEOPLE ARE ANNOYING YOU.


Well, that’s part of life, eh? People annoy us, of course. Family, friends, ones we love, people in our work situation, all annoy us at times. Dealing with annoyances isn’t easy.

I find that instead of managing the day as things happen, I try to set the agenda or feeling for the day myself. That way I can better deal with whatever comes along.

** Get back your sparkle **

I’ll tell someone I love them, compliment someone on their work or how they look, drop a coin into the busker’s hat, and generally be on the lookout for opportunities to pass happiness on. This makes me happy inside, as well as the other person.

Of course, every day isn’t going to go along like this – in a positive way. There’ll still be difficulties to overcome and disappointments to handle. But we won’t come crashing down as far as we might have, had we not started the day off positively.

So try to factor the small stuff into every day. You set the agenda and see the difference that makes, to you and others.

“You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow annoy you.” Robert Anton Wilson.

SCENARIO FOUR: SMALL STUFF THAT DOESN’T SPARKLE.




One weekend we looked after two children while their mum flew interstate for a job interview. The 10-year-old asked me a question, when we were getting ready for a picnic. “Why do you worry so much about little things?” I was taken aback. When I thought about it, I found, to my surprise, that I do this a lot.

Little things annoy me, like: Where are the scissors? (I always put them back in their appropriate place, but other family members don’t.) Why is the ‘phone ringing just when I’m ready to leave for an appointment?

** Get back your sparkle **

Instead of just accepting that these things happen, I was displaying annoyance. I could see that these little things were setting the tone for the day. I wasn’t in control at all, they were.

From that moment on I decided to monitor my behaviour to my own and others’ advantage. These are only little things but the minute I accepted that things happen and worked around the issues without getting cranky, the day was happier.

In this scenario, attitude is key. How easy it is to change our attitude! I could see beyond the trivial to the many good things about the day.



“Little things seem nothing, but they give peace, like those meadow flowers which individually seem odourless but all together perfume the air.” Georges Bernanos.


Which leads me to wonder – are there really any little things in life?

I’m reminded of the words of Bruce Barton: “Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think there are no little things.”

From now, I’ll look at small stuff in a different light.

It’s the small stuff that can reach inside ourselves and out to others, and change a day entirely. When we stop concentrating on annoyances, minor problems, or the busyness of life, we are open to seeing little miracles all around us.

Smile and let the sun shine through you to others with whom you come in contact each day. You don’t know when the little things you do and say will make a difference – somewhere.

The world might be a better place because of the small stuff that you were responsible for, that grew and grew into bigger stuff.


Please let me know what you think below.

Source 

Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Attitude Makes All The Difference | Zig Ziglar



This is a very thought provoking 9.5 minutes that will change your attitude to life!

Zig Ziglar teaches people all over the world the fundamentals of sales and success. Here he tells a story of a woman with a negative attitude who hated her job, shifted her attitude and changed her life.

Source:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRMogDrHnMQ

Let me know what you think!