The Secret To Happiness | Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle's Teaching About Spirituality and Genuine Happiness!

Visit Eckhart Tolle's Website : https://www.eckharttolle.com/

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How to Live Happily? | Sadhguru

Addressing a group of students and faculty at the IIT campus in Chennai, India, Sadhguru answers a question on how to maintain joy and happiness, regardless of the external circumstances. 
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Life Lessons From 100-Year-Olds

We asked three centenarians what their most valuable life lessons were, and also their regrets.
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Goals are based on my needs | Prof. Chandra Kant

How does one determine the right goal? Our goals should be determined by our needs. So we have to do a need analysis of what we would like to have and what we would like to avoid.

Is it important to have specific and measurable goals? It they keep on changing, what is the purpose of having a goal?

The answer to the first one is yes, we need to have goals, that too, written goals (one study shows that written goals are more likely to be achieved). If we do not have any yardstick of measurement, how do we know we are progressing and therefore when we are likely to reach the goal?

But even more basic than that, what should be my goal? How do I determine the right goal?
Our goals should be determined by our needs. So we have to do a needs analysis of what we would like to have and what we would like to avoid.

1. One way is to think back and remember those incidents that made me happy. Then for each incident, I do a ‘root cause’ on why it made me happy. This will show me my needs. Then I create those goals that satisfy these needs.
2. Another way is to think of incidents that made me unhappy. A root cause on this – why did that incident make me unhappy – would tell me what I would like to avoid.

Once I have my needs (what I want and what I don’t want) defined, I have to do two things:

1. determine the relative importance of each need
2. determine the maximum time frame in which this should be satisfied (urgency)

Now I can find out what I have to do and when, and this determines my goals. We have to remember that to achieve something, we may have to sacrifice something else, and the important/urgent matrix above will help us realize our priority.

Another aspect of needs analysis is to determine whether these are your goals or the goals of your influencers or loved ones. Sometime, we want to do something but our parents want us to do something else. The question is whether I sacrifice my happiness for my parents’ happiness?

For example, I remember the time I got admission in one of the leading B-schools of India.

1. Why did it make me happy? Because I made my parents proud or because my effort was acknowledged in front of a crowd.
2. Why does that make me happy? Because I need the approval of people
3. Why do I need approval? Maybe I have self-esteem issues and I need to compare with others to define me

So if I am seeking a goal in terms of what type of job I should look for, I should look for a job that gives me a lot of approval, or allows me to do peer comparison and which does not lower my self-esteem. Sales would be a bit of an issue as a job, because it has a lot of rejection built in. However, advisory services based on my competency would be good, because a client would be grateful for my services.

I can now set up a time frame for creating a competency that can be appreciated by clients and to find a job that allows me to use this competency.

Since these needs keep changing, our goals will keep changing.

Suppose there are two conflicting goals?

If I have done my needs analysis in terms of all the type of needs I have and the priority of each need, and have determined who in my life is important and considered their needs, then each goal can be analyzed based on how well it satisfies these criteria.

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How To Become Motivated When You Want To Stay In Bed | Laura Jane Hand

If you'd rather stay in bed when your alarm goes off and you have little or no motivation to get up, the first thing to realise is how common this feeling actually is. You are not on your own. Everyone goes through periods in their life where they feel like this. You may feel like you are lost, unsure of what to do next and embarrassed because you feel like you are falling behind.

Here are my 3 steps to getting your motivation back and waking up happy:

1. Be honest - It's OK to feel like this. You don't need to ignore how you feel or lie about it. It's better to speak up and talk about how you are feeling. Don't keep it bottled up. You don't need to tell everyone, but acknowledge how you are feeling and be honest with yourself and those closest to you.

2. Make a date with someone - It's so tempting at a time like this to hide away, to cancel plans or not make any new plans. You may not feel like meeting up with people at all, you will probably prefer to avoid the questions and having to explain what you are doing and how you are feeling. But hiding away isn't going to do you any good. Just because you are feeling like this, doesn't mean you are not good company. You need to get out and see new places, meet friends, be in inspiring surroundings. By doing this, you will find that your enthusiasm comes back and you may even have moments of inspiration which will put you right back on track.

3. Take action - By doing nothing, by going back to bed or avoiding people, you are being a victim and are allowing defeat to take over you. Don't let how you are feeling stop you from taking even a small action. Do something that makes you feel good. Clean out drawers, give unwanted items to charity and de-clutter your life. Sign up to a personal development course. Arrange a coffee with your best friend. Book a yoga workshop. Do whatever it is that will lift your mood.

It is important to realise that these periods in our lives when we feel lost, lacking motivation and even feel like we are falling behind, can actually be good times. They can give us the space, the time and the opportunity we need to grow.

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When ToTake Action | Abraham Hicks

"You jump into action when you're not clearly connected to the current. "

"You will be inspired to act, but it won't be the action that makes it happen."

Extracted from NEWEST Abraham Hicks 2016-11-12 Dallas TX

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4 Small, Simple Ways To Get Back Your Sparkle | Tia Sparkles

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realising that life is made up of little things. – Frank A Clark.

Little things are happening around us every day.

Every moment, in fact, we are encountering little things. Yesterday, when I was walking into a shop, a woman smiled at me. I smiled back and thought to myself, “That was such a small thing but it made me happy to be acknowledged by a stranger.”

Often we dismiss the small stuff because we are caught up in the bigger picture. We’re working towards our goals that are afar off and forget to stop and “smell the roses” along the way.

Not every little thing is as positive as a happy face or a helping hand, though.

Little negative things happen, too. Things go wrong some days. We can focus on them so heavily that they take over our lives.

Instead of letting frustration get the better of us, being able to see small positives will pull us through each of those negative days. Wonderful things are all around us if we could but notice them.

It all depends on our outlook and attitude.

Does small stuff make you sparkle inside?

Consider the following situations:

SCENARIO ONE: YOU’VE HAD A BAD DAY.

So nothing went right for you today? You had to start one of your jobs three times before you got it right; your friend forgot it was the day to meet you for lunch – and so on.

These negative things can be blown out of all proportion causing you to label the day a failure.

** Get back your sparkle **

If you focus on positive aspects of the day, your face will turn from a scowl to a smile. It’s not easy to see the positives because several happenings, one after the other, can really cloud any sunshine.

Maybe the job you started three times was very impressive when you eventually finished it. Be grateful and smile. Maybe your mum/spouse had your favourite meal ready when you arrived home. That’s enough to warm anyone’s heart – and tummy.

Seeing the happiness that little things can bring will change your opinion of the day. It really wasn’t so bad after all, was it?

“As you start and end your day, say ‘thank you’ for every little thing in your life, and you will come to realise how blessed you truly are.” Unknown.

SCENARIO TWO : BIG THINGS ARE A PRIORITY NOW.

When you were a kid, your day was filled with little things that brought a smile to your face. You ran outside in the rain; you looked with wonder at the first strawberry growing on your plant; you sat on your swing and laughed as the breeze blew through your hair.

Now, though, there’s no time for the playful things of life. The big things have taken over. Rush to the bus so that you get to work on time; cancel morning tea with your friend because an important meeting has suddenly been scheduled – and so on and on.

** Get back your sparkle **

One way to cope with the busyness of life while you make sure you put some small stuff back into the mix, is to follow the five/two and two/five rules.

On week days, schedule five jobs for the day that must be done, but schedule two things for yourself that you love to do.

At the weekend the numbers reverse. Do five things for yourself – a family picnic, coffee with a friend – but schedule two jobs that must be done to keep your life afloat.

“I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things . . . I play with leaves, I skip down the street and run against the wind.” Leo Buscaglia.

SCENARIO THREE: PEOPLE ARE ANNOYING YOU.

Well, that’s part of life, eh? People annoy us, of course. Family, friends, ones we love, people in our work situation, all annoy us at times. Dealing with annoyances isn’t easy.

I find that instead of managing the day as things happen, I try to set the agenda or feeling for the day myself. That way I can better deal with whatever comes along.

** Get back your sparkle **

I’ll tell someone I love them, compliment someone on their work or how they look, drop a coin into the busker’s hat, and generally be on the lookout for opportunities to pass happiness on. This makes me happy inside, as well as the other person.

Of course, every day isn’t going to go along like this – in a positive way. There’ll still be difficulties to overcome and disappointments to handle. But we won’t come crashing down as far as we might have, had we not started the day off positively.

So try to factor the small stuff into every day. You set the agenda and see the difference that makes, to you and others.

“You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow annoy you.” Robert Anton Wilson.

SCENARIO FOUR: SMALL STUFF THAT DOESN’T SPARKLE.

One weekend we looked after two children while their mum flew interstate for a job interview. The 10-year-old asked me a question, when we were getting ready for a picnic. “Why do you worry so much about little things?” I was taken aback. When I thought about it, I found, to my surprise, that I do this a lot.

Little things annoy me, like: Where are the scissors? (I always put them back in their appropriate place, but other family members don’t.) Why is the ‘phone ringing just when I’m ready to leave for an appointment?

** Get back your sparkle **

Instead of just accepting that these things happen, I was displaying annoyance. I could see that these little things were setting the tone for the day. I wasn’t in control at all, they were.

From that moment on I decided to monitor my behaviour to my own and others’ advantage. These are only little things but the minute I accepted that things happen and worked around the issues without getting cranky, the day was happier.

In this scenario, attitude is key. How easy it is to change our attitude! I could see beyond the trivial to the many good things about the day.

“Little things seem nothing, but they give peace, like those meadow flowers which individually seem odourless but all together perfume the air.” Georges Bernanos.

Which leads me to wonder – are there really any little things in life?

I’m reminded of the words of Bruce Barton: “Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think there are no little things.”

From now, I’ll look at small stuff in a different light.

It’s the small stuff that can reach inside ourselves and out to others, and change a day entirely. When we stop concentrating on annoyances, minor problems, or the busyness of life, we are open to seeing little miracles all around us.

Smile and let the sun shine through you to others with whom you come in contact each day. You don’t know when the little things you do and say will make a difference – somewhere.

The world might be a better place because of the small stuff that you were responsible for, that grew and grew into bigger stuff.

Please let me know what you think below.

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Neuroscience Reveals How Gratitude Literally Changes Your Brain to be Happier | The Power of Ideas

We often hear about the power of gratitude for creating a more positive and happy mental state. But did you know that gratitude literally transforms your brain?

According to UCLA’s Mindfulness Awareness Research Center, regularly expressing gratitude literally changes the molecular structure of the brain, keeps the gray matter functioning, and makes us healthier and happier.

When you feel happiness, the central nervous system is affected. You are more peaceful, less reactive, and less resistant. And gratitude is the most effective practice for stimulating feelings of happiness.

In this article we’ll share some of the research demonstrating that gratitude makes you happier, followed by some practical steps you can take to positively transform the molecular structure of the brain.

Studies of gratitude making you happier

In one study of gratitude, conducted by Robert A. Emmons at the University of California at Davis and his colleague Mike McCullough at the University of Miami, randomly assigned participants were given one of three tasks. The participants kept a journal each week, with one group describing things they were grateful for, another describing what’s hassling them and the other keeping track of neutral events. After ten weeks, the participants in the gratitude group felt 25 percent better than the other groups, and had exercised an average of 1.5 hours more.

In a later study by Emmons with a similar set up, participants completing gratitude exercises each day offered other people in their lives more emotional support than those in other groups.

Another study on gratitude was conducted with adults suffering from congenital and adult-onset neuromuscular disorders (NMDs), with the majority of people having post-polio syndrome (PPS). 

Compared to those not jotting down what they’re grateful for every night, participants that did express gratitude felt more refreshed each day upon wakening. They also felt more connected with others than did participants in the group not expressing gratitude.

A fourth study didn’t require a gratitude journal, but looked at the amount of gratitude people showed in their daily lives. In this study, a group of Chinese researchers found that higher levels of gratitude were associated with better sleep, and also with lower levels of anxiety and depression.

Better sleep, with less anxiety and depression. Some compelling reasons to express gratitude more regularly.

Three simple steps to becoming more grateful

If you’ve only got time to say one prayer today, make it the simple words of “thank you.”

This is worth keeping in mind as you go about figuring out your daily practices and routines.

Here are three practical steps you can take to infusing routines of gratitude into your life.

1) Keep a daily journal of three things you are thankful for. This works well first thing in the morning, or just before you go to bed.

2) Make it a practice to tell a spouse, partner or friend something you appreciate about them every day.

3) Look in the mirror when you are brushing your teeth, and think about something you have done well recently or something you like about yourself.

Please let me know what you think below.

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Feel Good Now | Tony Robbins

If you want to have ongoing joy and fulfillment in your life, the secret is just one word – progress. Progress equals happiness. While achievements and material things may excite you for the moment, the only thing that's going to make you happy long-term is knowing that you're making progress.

"I don't need an excuse to feel good!"  

What do you think?

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New year, new you? Forget it | Oliver Burkeman

Old You is the last person you ought to trust when it comes to designing a New You.

So here we are again: that time known to publishers as “New Year, New You”, partly because they want to sell life-makeover books and partly because, well… alliteration! I trust we’re all in agreement that “New Year, New You” is preposterous and bad. But it’s preposterous and bad, I’d argue, for some interesting reasons – reasons it’s worth grasping if you’d actually like to make a few lasting changes this year. These all result from one rarely mentioned truth: that by definition, the only person who could successfully bring this New You into being is that feckless, lazy, overcommitted, weak-willed, Twitter-addicted, crisps-munching good-for-nothing called Old You.

And Old You is the last person you ought to trust when it comes to designing a New You. Consider the facts. For a start, Old You doesn’t currently do any of the things he or she claims will make New You happy and fulfilled. (Would you trust a personal trainer who chain-smoked through your sessions and never worked out? Exactly.) Moreover, Old You doesn’t even seem to like himself or herself that much, otherwise a makeover wouldn’t be on the agenda. Clearly, Old You has some issues. Lastly, Old You probably has a long track record of trying and failing to implement change – and yet you’re going to trust this shifty character with your future? That’s like taking your car to a mechanic who botches the repair job almost every time.

Behind the seductive lure of “New Year, New You” lies another kind of mistake, too: the idea that what we require, in order finally to change, is one last push of willpower. (Presumably, the hope is that the “January feeling” of fresh starts and clean slates will provide it.) The assumption is that you’re a bit like a heavy rock, poised on a hill above the Valley of Achievement, Productivity and Clean Eating. All you need is a concerted push to get you rolling. But the real reason that transformation is hard – as Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey make clear in their book Immunity To Change – is that people (and organisations) have powerful “competing commitments”, or reasons not to change. To use weakness of will to explain why you take on too much, or overeat, or date disastrous people, is to neglect the fact that those habits make you feel indispensable, or assuage feelings of loneliness, or distract you from inner conflicts you’d rather not address. Technically, physics fans will note, something similar is true of the rock. There are countervailing forces that keep it stuck, beyond the mere absence of an impetus to move.

One useful way to shift perspective is to hand both Old You and New You their marching orders, and narrow your focus to Present You. Don’t resolve to become “the kind of person” who runs, meditates, or listens to your spouse. Instead, just do that thing, once, today. Preferably now. It’s tempting to add “and then do the same tomorrow, and every day, for ever” – except that would be to fall back into the New You trap. Lower your sights. Today is the first day of the rest of your week.

oliver.burkeman@theguardian.com

Let me know what you think below!

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What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | Ro...

What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it's fame and money, you're not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you're mistaken. 

As the director of 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction. 

In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.

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