Monday, 19 December 2016
The 30 day better feeling thought process | Abraham, Esther & Jerry Hicks
Excerpted from the DVD "Abraham's Processes of Creation" from Abraham-Hicks, which features six of Abraham's most powerful techniques to assist in "getting into The Vortex" and thus in achieving alignment with all that is wanted. This particular segment was recorded at an Abraham-Hicks Vortex of Attraction workshop in Phoenix, Arizona on 3/1/08.
Quick fixes don't work in personal development | Z Hereford
Most of us don't want to hear this, but; there are no quick fixes or short cuts to personal development (or to anything else worthwhile, for that matter).
The road to bettering ourselves is a long continous one that requires time, commitment and self-discipline.
Of course, it's human nature to look for the quickest, easiest way to get what we want. We tend to look for the one size fits all solution to our problems. We want to find the book, the DVD, or program that will fix us and make everything all right - overnight - and we want it pronto!
Well here's the reality - apart from being improbable and unrealistic, most things just don't work that way. One of the reasons they don't, is that quick fixes are neither lasting, nor sustainable. A quick fix for any problem is only meant to hold things together until an effective long-term solution is found. It's merely the proverbial band aid.
Making positive lasting change in your life takes time and this is why:
- A new habit takes at least 21 days of consistent effort to set in - When we try to change a behavior/habit or implement a new one, it takes at least 21 days of consistent repetative behavior for it to set in. If it happens to be an addiction, it could take as long as 35 days, or more. No quick fix is designed to change habits.
- Habituation and homeostasis factors - Habituation refers to the things we do daily without having to think about doing them. Another way to put it is 'getting used to things'. Homeostasis, a term used mostly in the context of biology, is a regulatory function that keeps an organism stable. An example would be when temperatures outdoors fall or raise significantly, our body temperature remains stable. Psychological homeostasis works similarly in that it keeps you fixed in the same habits or mindsets whether they are working for you or not. That is why it's so hard to change a habit. Habituation and homeostasis, while they are necessary mechanisms so that you don't have to rethink how to do everything every single time you go to do it, they make it very difficult for quick fixes or behavior changes to take hold permanently.
- Certain endeavors rely on ongoing repetitious strategies in order to take effect - If you want to lose weight permanently, or if you intend on having successful relationships, plan to work on it for the long haul. For instance, if you want to lose 20 pounds of weight, you cannot do it by eating little and well for only one day. Instead, you would have to implement a plan whereby you consume and expend a set amount of calories consistently over a given period of time. Then the weight would come off slowly and steadily.Likewise, to maintain a good relationship, you couldn't be pleasant and agreeable with someone for one or two days and then expect to have an understanding or connection. It would take days, months, sometimes even years to build a trusting, mutually fulfilling relationship. It cannot happen overnight.Only by working on goals slowly and steadily can you achieve lasting and rewarding results. By contrast crash dieting, blitzing, cramming, or bombarding (quick fixes) will derail your efforts.
- It takes hard work and commitment - How many times have we started a new project, exercise routine, or diet plan bursting with energy and enthusiasm only to see wane and wither away? Too many, I’m sorry to say. The truth is, it isn’t easy to stay focused and committed, which is why, once again, we look for the quick fix instead of buckling down and getting on with it. If we recognize that it will take time, hard work and continued dedication to develop and improve ourselves, we would save a lot of time and heartache.
Examples where quick fixes have backfired:
In 1993 Suzanne Mullins won $4.2 million in the Virginia lottery. She subsequently became deeply in debt to a company that lent her money using the winnings as collateral. What she came to realize is that in our culture we tend to believe that money solves all problems and if people had more of it their troubles would be over. Unfortunately, when money is acquired quickly and suddenly it can cause more problems than it solves.
Evelyn Adams won the New Jersey lottery twice (1985, 1986) amounting to approximately $5.4 million. Today the money is gone and Adams lives in a trailer.
William Post won $16.2 million in the Pennsylvania lottery in 1988 but now lives on his Social Security check. "I wish it never happened. It was totally a nightmare," says Post.
Susan Bradley, a financial planner who wrote Sudden Money: Managing a Financial Windfall, says "People think windfalls are about money. But it's really all about change and transition ... and people need time to adjust." (i.e. quick fixes do not last, nor do they actually fix anything).
What happens when we crash diet to lose weight quickly?
Although much has been written lately about how losing weight quickly is unhealthy and unproductive many still attempt it. Losing weight too quickly, like any sudden change to your body, is dangerous. We know that fad diets, diet pills, and fasting indeed induce rapid weight loss, however they also cause you to lose muscle mass and may injure the heart and other vital organs in the process. The answer? Instead of aiming for an overnight miracle (quick fix), opt for a sensible nutritious eating plan as well as a realistic exercise regimen.
The bottom line is that personal development, or self-improvement, is hard work! It takes time, consistent effort, focus, discipline and patience. Remember the work you do daily, monthly and yearly culminates in a rewarding, successful outcome.
Let me know what you think below.
Sunday, 18 December 2016
What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | Ro...
What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it's fame and money, you're not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you're mistaken.
As the director of 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction.
In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.
Source
Driving yourself to perform: If not you, then who? | Eugene Whelan
We all want to do better. Better at work, better in life, better at everything. But how do we achieve this and do we really know what better is?
Performance at work has always been a hot topic. At worst, performance (or the lack of it) can put a company under, at best it can make it positively flourish.
It's the reason we have performance reviews, targets and KPIs – so that our boss and the management of the company can tell how we, and they, are doing by performance results.
But performance isn’t just about facts, figures and targets. It’s not just about meeting expectations to a satisfactory level within the work place.
In terms of ourselves, performance, and our understanding of it, is the key to personal and professional development and the business success.
Or to use a driving analogy: if you can't see where you are on the map, how can you work out your route, or know when you have arrived.
So it's down to you to manage your own performance at work if you want to get the results and recognition you want and get to where you really want to be.
North, South, East or West?
Back to our map analogy. Do you know where you are in terms of performance at work?
Have you looked at your performance, analysed your strengths and weaknesses and more importantly accepted them?
Have you ever conducted your own performance review? If not, then you need to, now.
Choose a time-frame – say the last year. Brainstorm a list of your achievements (don’t be shy), your failures (do be honest!), your challenges and issues, obstacles you feel you overcame, situations you think may have got the better of you and anything else you think may affect or contribute to your performance at work. These can include factors outside of work as well.
Group the different elements together and you will have a good idea of where you are on the map performance-wise. Then you need to decide what you need to change so you can improve your performance.
Analysis and Investment
Change is usually a good thing, but invariably very hard to do, especially when it needs to be self-motivated.
However, now you have reviewed your current position, you will have a very good indication of where you may be falling short, not only in terms of your mindset around your job and your company, but also in terms of where you may need additional learning and development to do your job better and improve your position.
Having a good awareness of the skills/abilities you lack to improve your performance and further your career is the starting point to doing something about that.
This is when communication with your superior is key. You will need to make an investment in yourself and ideally the source of the investment will come from your company. You just need to convince them why it will be commercially profitable for them to do so. Performance reviews are the perfect time to do this.
It's this simple:
1. Arrange a meeting with your supervisor to discuss your self-review and use it to point out your strengths but also the areas where you feel you are lacking. (Ask for their feedback on this.)
2. Highlight the type of training or investment you have identified you need to undertake, to improve upon those areas. (Do they agree with you?)
3. Discuss how afterwards, you would be more effective and productive in areas, and how this would impact on your contribution to the company as whole. (What's their opinion?)
Well it’s not really that simple but you have to be the “driver” in this situation, your boss won’t just stop and hand it to you.
However, now you have reviewed your current position, you will have a very good indication of where you may be falling short, not only in terms of your mindset around your job and your company, but also in terms of where you may need additional learning and development to do your job better and improve your position.
Having a good awareness of the skills/abilities you lack to improve your performance and further your career is the starting point to doing something about that.
This is when communication with your superior is key. You will need to make an investment in yourself and ideally the source of the investment will come from your company. You just need to convince them why it will be commercially profitable for them to do so. Performance reviews are the perfect time to do this.
It's this simple:
1. Arrange a meeting with your supervisor to discuss your self-review and use it to point out your strengths but also the areas where you feel you are lacking. (Ask for their feedback on this.)
2. Highlight the type of training or investment you have identified you need to undertake, to improve upon those areas. (Do they agree with you?)
3. Discuss how afterwards, you would be more effective and productive in areas, and how this would impact on your contribution to the company as whole. (What's their opinion?)
Well it’s not really that simple but you have to be the “driver” in this situation, your boss won’t just stop and hand it to you.
So. Get your Performance Sat-Nav in Gear
If you want to get better at what you do, if you want to succeed and if you want to further your career then you need to take control.
These days, the burden of self-improvement is squarely on the shoulders of employees not the managers. The thinking being that if you want to “get ahead” then you need to do something about it. And the more pro-active you are the more favourably it will be looked upon.
That means you need to know where you are headed and how you are going to get there.
Based on your own performance review and your assessment of the investment you need to improve your skill and performance levels, you need to create a road-map of actions that will help you make it happen.
Again take the time-frame of a year (or three if that’s more reasonable) and decide where you want to be at the end of that time. Then work backwards as to what you need to do to achieve that goal.
Could it be finding and paying for your own training if it is a crucial area that just can’t wait? Is it a daily strategy or ethos that will lift your performance levels and your mindset? Perhaps you need to change the way you do or approach certain tasks or projects?
Whatever it is, it’s up to you to decide. And at the crux of all of this is honesty.
You need to be truly honest with yourself about what you need to improve upon, so that you can actually make those improvements happen.
If you can’t then you will be looking at a map with no roads and you’ll be going nowhere.
So ask yourself this question: What have you done to improve your skills, abilities, and your performance in the last six months?
Author's Bio:
Eugene Whelan is a qualified business and life coach and is the owner of One To Ten Coaching.
He has over 25 years experience at senior management level in the manufacturing and distribution industries.
Eugene has worked in various senior roles including, sales, manufacturing and commercial.
During this time he has gained an invaluable insight into the day-to-day pressures that go with such leadership roles and the expectations to be met.
Eugene is a direct and enlightened business consultant, able to see the practical side of people and situations as well as the more intangible qualities and potential of both.
These days, the burden of self-improvement is squarely on the shoulders of employees not the managers. The thinking being that if you want to “get ahead” then you need to do something about it. And the more pro-active you are the more favourably it will be looked upon.
That means you need to know where you are headed and how you are going to get there.
Based on your own performance review and your assessment of the investment you need to improve your skill and performance levels, you need to create a road-map of actions that will help you make it happen.
Again take the time-frame of a year (or three if that’s more reasonable) and decide where you want to be at the end of that time. Then work backwards as to what you need to do to achieve that goal.
Could it be finding and paying for your own training if it is a crucial area that just can’t wait? Is it a daily strategy or ethos that will lift your performance levels and your mindset? Perhaps you need to change the way you do or approach certain tasks or projects?
Whatever it is, it’s up to you to decide. And at the crux of all of this is honesty.
You need to be truly honest with yourself about what you need to improve upon, so that you can actually make those improvements happen.
If you can’t then you will be looking at a map with no roads and you’ll be going nowhere.
So ask yourself this question: What have you done to improve your skills, abilities, and your performance in the last six months?
Author's Bio:
Eugene Whelan is a qualified business and life coach and is the owner of One To Ten Coaching.
He has over 25 years experience at senior management level in the manufacturing and distribution industries.
Eugene has worked in various senior roles including, sales, manufacturing and commercial.
During this time he has gained an invaluable insight into the day-to-day pressures that go with such leadership roles and the expectations to be met.
Eugene is a direct and enlightened business consultant, able to see the practical side of people and situations as well as the more intangible qualities and potential of both.
Saturday, 17 December 2016
Christmas Stress Relief
Christmas can be a very stressful time of year. For many the Christmas holiday period is a mass of complex social interactions with family or relatives, some of whom you may rather not see.
There could well be expectations, or at least perceived expectations, to create a ‘wonderful Christmas’ with presents and perhaps the most important meal of the year.
Some people rate Christmas as being more stressful than divorce or being burgled. We don't want to add to the stress and have deliberately avoided putting images of holly, robins, snowmen or anything else Christmassy on this page!
The page does, however, provide some tips and advice to make your Christmas as stress-free as possible. Don't let the festive season get you down: follow the tips and advice you find here, relax and enjoy yourself.
Plan Ahead
Start making a list of things you need to do for Christmas early: for example, shopping, food and presents, decorations, seating plans or travel arrangements. Make the list as detailed as possible, include people’s phone numbers or email addresses to make contacting them simpler.
If it's already too late, bookmark this page ready for next year and set yourself a reminder to do this in mid-November.
Try to prioritise the items on your list: can they be done now, and are they essential? Do not overestimate how much you can achieve on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Many recipes can, at least in part, be made ahead of time and frozen thus reducing tasks in the immediate run-up to Christmas Day.
Delegate the responsibility for certain tasks to other family members since this will reduce your workload. Keep your list for next year; it’ll need tweaking and updating but will give you reminders of the sorts of things you need to think about.
See our pages: Time Management and Delegation Skills for more ideas of how to get organised and prioritise your tasks and time.
Shop Online
Although shopping locally has many advantages, High Street shopping just before Christmas can be particularly stressful, often cold and wet (in the UK anyway) and with hundreds of other stressed people trying to find the ‘perfect’ gift.
Shop online from the comfort of your own home as you’ll not only save time and be less stressed but will probably save money too. Always make sure you buy from reputable online retailers and check that they can deliver before the big day. Take advantage of a cash back site such as TopCashBack in the UK to save even more money on your purchases.
If you haven’t already tried it, you may be able to do your food shopping online too and have it delivered directly to your door. Remember to book your delivery slot early though as the prime delivery slots may well be booked early.
Christmas Cards
Start writing your Christmas cards early too!
Many people receive and send lots of cards at Christmas time so start in mid-November, if you can, and write a few cards and envelopes each day keeping them to one side before posting or delivering.
Know When to Stop
Decide when you will stop your Christmas preparations and start to relax and enjoy the holiday. Work towards and try to stick to this goal, even if it is in the late afternoon on Christmas Eve. Remember that Christmas is your holiday too.
Christmas Day and Beyond
Keep Calm
Play some relaxing music, perhaps seasonal carols, and burn some scented candles, incense or aromatherapy oil. Take a relaxing hot bath to unwind.
Our pages: Relaxation Techniques including Aromatherapy for some advice about how to relax.
Seating Arrangements
If there is someone coming to dinner that you dislike, avoid sitting opposite them and instead seat them to one side and opposite somebody who they get on with better. Invite a few more reasonable people along as it will help dilute any stress caused by relatives. It’s a case of the more the merrier!
Keep Calm
Play some relaxing music, perhaps seasonal carols, and burn some scented candles, incense or aromatherapy oil. Take a relaxing hot bath to unwind.
Our pages: Relaxation Techniques including Aromatherapy for some advice about how to relax.
Seating Arrangements
If there is someone coming to dinner that you dislike, avoid sitting opposite them and instead seat them to one side and opposite somebody who they get on with better. Invite a few more reasonable people along as it will help dilute any stress caused by relatives. It’s a case of the more the merrier!
Turkey
If you are planning on cooking a bird then turkey or pheasant are good choices. They both contain tryptophan which our bodies use to make serotonin, a powerful brain-calming chemical.
Have Decaffeinated Coffee
When your body is under stress it produces cortisol which prepares you for ‘fight or flight’ situations. Caffeine does too; see our article: Stress, Nutrition and Diet for more information.
Offer everybody decaffeinated coffee and tea, or herbal tea alternatives, since this will help keep the stress levels down and has the added bonus that people may fall asleep after dinner!
Practise Breathing
When we’re stressed our heart beat increases and our breathing shallows, it’s all part of the fight or flight reaction. Work on reversing this process and take time to breathe deeply.
Breathe in deeply through your nose, hold for 15 or 20 seconds and then breathe slowly out through your mouth, repeat for a few minutes to instantly help reduce stressful feelings.
Have a 'Great Escape' Plan!
It's a good idea to have some pre-planned excuses to escape from proceedings if they get too stressful.
Be imaginative and use things such as leaving the room to make a phone-call to a friend or perhaps checking on a neighbour. Just by having planned a couple of escape routes you’ll probably feel less stressed anyway but actually leaving the situation, even for 10 minutes, will help clear your mind and relax you.
Make Time for Exercise
Christmas is, for many, a time of excessive eating and drinking and exercise can be easily overlooked. Diets are particularly popular in January! Exercise is a great way to reduce stress as it burns off hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline and helps produce mood-enhancing endorphins. Try going for a walk after dinner as the fresh air and exercise will lift your mood and make you feel better.
Avoid Excessive Alcohol
Most de-stressing articles will tell you to avoid alcohol altogether but, let’s be realistic, it is Christmas! However, do avoid excessive alcohol as it dehydrates your body and makes your liver work overtime to process it. Drink as much water or juice as alcohol as this will help you to stay hydrated, feel better and therefore cope better with stressful situations. You'll also feel better on Boxing Day.
Have Fun!
Remember it’s your Christmas too so try to relax and have fun, laugh and be merry. If you do find others around you difficult then try to rise above the situation. If things don’t go to plan try not to worry too much, instead laugh about them and make them into fun memories that you can talk about during Christmases to come. "Remember that time Mum set fire to the sprouts!".
Have a great, stress-free, Christmas break!
Source
Energetic NLP: How to Retrieve Your Energy from Other People | Art Giser
This is a powerful 10 minute video explaining the importance of reclaiming and clearing your energy when you feel depleted, and shaking off other people's energy. This is a 2 minute daily routine that can change your life.
Why not give it a go let me know what you think below!
Source
Friday, 16 December 2016
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